00:00:00:00 - 00:00:13:16
Erik Orton
Last week when we were talking with the Wingert's, this phrase comparison is the thief of joy came up. And today we want to talk a little bit more about that, why comparison is the thief of joy and how to avoid it.
00:00:13:18 - 00:00:16:16
Emily Orton
Welcome to the What Could Go Right? podcast. I'm Emily Orton.
00:00:16:18 - 00:00:17:20
Erik Orton
I am Erik Orton.
00:00:18:01 - 00:00:24:20
Emily Orton
And here we talk about personal growth, family connections and parenting, adult kids. All the adventures.
00:00:24:22 - 00:00:46:12
Erik Orton
All the adventures making your midlife more meaningful. Okay, so I'm going to start by telling you a story that Emily, it's about me and she thinks I'm pretty funny. I was a freshman in college, and for those of you that are our age, you will remember a guy named Harry Connick Jr. Is he still famous?
00:00:46:13 - 00:00:47:18
Emily Orton
He's still kicking. He's.
00:00:47:20 - 00:01:28:08
Erik Orton
I mean, he he just he just put out a new album last year. So anyway, so I was listening to a little bit of musician. He's a musician kind of from New Orleans, kind of cool jazz crooner type guy. And I actually got to work a live concert with him at one point. And not that that matters at all, but when I was 18, I was studying music in college and focusing a lot on piano, and I came across and, you know, I had a bunch of albums by Harry Connick Junior, and I discovered that he put out an album called 25, which was his new current album.
00:01:28:08 - 00:01:54:01
Erik Orton
And then I realized that he had an album called 12, and those numbers were the ages that he was when he put those albums out, the album, 25, I could like I could get behind it because like I'm 18, you know, like a 20 year old putting it on an album that's pretty normal. He had an album of him playing music when he was 12, and when I found that out and listened to it and heard how incredibly he played, I was super bummed out.
00:01:54:03 - 00:02:14:04
Erik Orton
I was like, I'm a loser because, you know, I was playing piano and I knew how to play the blues. And I also knew how to play a mozart concerto and a couple of other, you know, I had like, I had some chops, but I did not play the way Harry Connick Jr played. And I just thought, Man, I'm like six years behind this 12 year old.
00:02:14:06 - 00:02:15:19
Erik Orton
I'm like, I'm losing.
00:02:15:19 - 00:02:16:12
Emily Orton
Have an album.
00:02:16:13 - 00:02:35:18
Erik Orton
I'm losing this race. I hadn't you know, I oddly enough, I had actually already been paid at that point to write music for the theater. And I mean not a lot, but it was like something I could hang my hat on, but I just felt it bummed me out. That was it. It it was the thief of my joy.
00:02:35:19 - 00:02:43:11
Erik Orton
As much as I love music, comparing myself to Harry Connick Jr was the thief of my joy. And so that's my sob story.
00:02:43:13 - 00:02:57:00
Emily Orton
Yeah, I just think that is so relatable because so many of us will be going along thinking we're doing great, and then we see somebody else and we're like, never mind, you know, like, I remember.
00:02:57:01 - 00:02:58:23
Erik Orton
Never mind, I remember.
00:02:59:01 - 00:03:24:13
Emily Orton
I remember when I thought, my gosh, I'm like, really gearing up. I'm going to go from zero regular, you know, exercise to running a marathon with this friend. And I started training for the marathon and I was feeling really good about myself, my dedication, my discipline, my showing up, my progress. And then people started talking to me about these like 50 mile runs and hundred mile runs and multiple marathons.
00:03:24:13 - 00:04:08:00
Emily Orton
And I was like, I don't feel cool anymore. But the point is not about like, anyway, so hopefully we get into that and, and, and just realizing like figuring out what it is you actually want and what you value and what matters to you and how you're progressing, regardless of what anybody else is doing. And in fact, this reminds me of we were on a coaching call this past week and we're talking about this incredible custom, a venture for these clients that is going to be just right for them and and just be awesome on so many levels for their entire family.
00:04:08:00 - 00:04:42:23
Emily Orton
And it's it's going to be such a stretch and and just awesome and the client said, well I don't know like this if this is a like a very good adventure compared to the adventures that other people are choosing or their projects or goals or, you know, aspirations that other people have. And I was like, yeah, So like completely disregard whatever anybody else is choosing to do because this is so aligned with your values and your current circumstance and your hopes for the future and theirs is aligned for them.
00:04:43:01 - 00:04:56:23
Emily Orton
And it would be it wouldn't be a match for you to do the same dream that they're doing. That's for them. This is for you. This is perfect. That I think what I said is this is a custom fit. You don't want to get your dreams off the rack.
00:04:57:01 - 00:05:03:09
Erik Orton
This is a custom fit. You don't want to get your dreams off the rack. I love that. I love it. And I think, is it okay if we dive into.
00:05:03:09 - 00:05:04:08
Emily Orton
Yeah, let's go into this.
00:05:04:08 - 00:05:05:13
Erik Orton
Our case study for the week.
00:05:05:13 - 00:05:11:23
Emily Orton
Yeah. This has been such a cool week for us bringing something to fruition.
00:05:12:01 - 00:05:19:03
Erik Orton
So I'll back up Lily. Our daughter went to the state championships for swim team this year.
00:05:19:03 - 00:05:21:20
Emily Orton
Let's back up. Hey, welcome. Any new listeners?
00:05:21:22 - 00:05:22:18
Erik Orton
Yes, I was going to say.
00:05:22:22 - 00:05:23:12
Emily Orton
We have funny.
00:05:23:13 - 00:05:23:23
Erik Orton
Is.
00:05:24:02 - 00:05:39:07
Emily Orton
All we have. We have five kids and our daughter Lily has Down syndrome. She prefers to be called Lily, the famous athlete. And she started she's always loved the water, but she just started swimming this year, like.
00:05:39:09 - 00:05:40:03
Erik Orton
Competitively.
00:05:40:03 - 00:05:40:22
Emily Orton
The competitor because.
00:05:40:23 - 00:05:43:08
Erik Orton
She's been swimming since. We live on a sailboat.
00:05:43:11 - 00:06:02:07
Emily Orton
As a on a team. Yeah. And this coach just said, hey, I think swim would be great for her. And I said, Well, she loves swimming. So we just started her out and she couldn't stay focused to do two laps and would dive to the bottom of the pool or mess around and couldn't jump off the competition blocks.
00:06:02:07 - 00:06:22:16
Emily Orton
And but she just loved to go and she just kept going and going and having huge drops in her time at every competition as she figured more out what was going on. So yeah, she so we went all the way through the season and this weekend, this past weekend she went to State and she ran it, swam two events.
00:06:22:21 - 00:06:44:02
Erik Orton
Okay. Yeah. So all that backstory true. Lily is one of these kids that she just if you can imagine the kid that, like, dives down and comes up and like, spouts water out of her mouth because she's just so happy to be in the water, that's Lily. But yeah, she has really focused in and learn to get back and forth across the pool quickly.
00:06:44:04 - 00:06:49:08
Erik Orton
And but she's not fast. She's not or she's not.
00:06:49:10 - 00:06:50:12
Emily Orton
She's never the fastest.
00:06:50:12 - 00:07:17:22
Erik Orton
And the fastest. So she swam two races at states. And the first race that she swam, there were five swimmers in the pool. And we learned that she's in what they call the unified category, which is basically what we would call special needs. Yeah, she's in the unified category. And so everybody in the race has some sort of mental or physical condition that prevents them from sort of competing fairly with typical other athletes.
00:07:17:22 - 00:07:23:18
Erik Orton
And so Lily is in this race and she it was a 50 yard race.
00:07:23:18 - 00:07:24:07
Emily Orton
50 meter.
00:07:24:08 - 00:07:46:03
Erik Orton
50 meter down to the other end of the pool and back and everybody does really well. Everybody makes it down the back. The crowd is going crazy cheering for them. All the other swimmers in the team are out there cheering for them. And and Lily finishes the race and she happens to finish last. She's the slowest person in the pool, but everyone is cheering for them.
00:07:46:03 - 00:07:48:19
Erik Orton
And she's so proud of herself and we're all proud of her.
00:07:48:22 - 00:07:52:17
Emily Orton
And she dropped like.
00:07:52:19 - 00:07:53:13
Erik Orton
20 seconds.
00:07:53:13 - 00:07:55:23
Emily Orton
Like 12 seconds off her 50 meter, I think.
00:07:55:23 - 00:08:16:12
Erik Orton
Yeah. So the thing that kind of confused us, though, was when it came time to because as the meet rolls along, they're giving out awards in between different events and they name the top four finishers for that race. Up until that point, they'd been naming the top eight. But for this one, they named the top four and everyone got a medal except for Lily.
00:08:16:14 - 00:08:18:22
Emily Orton
She wasn't named or any.
00:08:19:01 - 00:08:39:06
Erik Orton
And yeah. And so, you know, they're all on the podium and they get their medals and they get their picture taken and they wave and everyone cheers. And then they said in Division two, first place Lily or it's in. Yeah. And so Lily gets a first place medal, and then she goes up on the podium and she's on the very top.
00:08:39:08 - 00:08:40:19
Emily Orton
And she's the only one.
00:08:40:19 - 00:08:56:18
Erik Orton
She's the only one. And she waves at the crowd and everyone cheers and she gets her picture taken and we're like, okay, apparently she's in Division two and we don't know yet what that means. We think it might be because she's a sophomore and everyone else were juniors and seniors. We think, Yeah.
00:08:56:18 - 00:09:09:13
Emily Orton
We're not sure, but I know my I was down on the swim deck with Lily and my daughter in the stands texted and she's like, I don't know a lot about racing, but how did she come in last and get first place? Like, I'm not really sure either.
00:09:09:15 - 00:09:27:17
Erik Orton
Okay, so that was the first race and then the second race, it's 100 meters and there's two racers, Lily and this other young man, and they race it and he's a lot faster than she is. yeah. Everyone still cheering the whole way through. Even the announcer is like, Go Lily over the microphone.
00:09:27:18 - 00:09:28:08
Emily Orton
I mean.
00:09:28:11 - 00:09:31:09
Erik Orton
She's the only swimmer in the water by a long shot. The.
00:09:31:09 - 00:09:37:01
Emily Orton
Yeah, the young man finished in less than half the time. So she's the main event. The only thing going on.
00:09:37:02 - 00:09:58:05
Erik Orton
All eyes in this place are on Lily, and she finishes and everyone cheers for her and she gets up out of the pool. And this young man, he wins first place in his category. And they're one cheers for him. And he gets his picture taken. And then division two again, we don't know what that is. First place Lily Orton.
00:09:58:07 - 00:10:14:20
Erik Orton
And she gets a second medal back on the podium. Everybody waves. It's very Olympic esque and gets her picture taken and she comes home with her state swim champ, hoodie and two medals around her neck.
00:10:14:20 - 00:10:15:12
Emily Orton
Clinking.
00:10:15:12 - 00:10:31:14
Erik Orton
Clinking. And she's just we're just like, how cool. Like she was the last person in the pool in both races. And she comes away with two first medals and she was so happy. Everybody was happy for her. And I just thought, I love this. I love this for a lot of reasons.
00:10:31:16 - 00:10:32:20
Emily Orton
Let's break it down for us.
00:10:32:21 - 00:10:58:09
Erik Orton
Okay. I'm going to break it down first is the fact that she was in a category of her own. Each of us can play and race and do whatever we do in a category of our own. If we just say I'm going to be the best at and we insert what it is that we're trying to do that specific to us and our circumstances and our goals.
00:10:58:11 - 00:11:17:00
Erik Orton
We can be the first in our category every time. And so I love that. Lily She was the only one in her own category and she won first every time. And you can do that too. You can say you can pick your category, your division, your, you know, whatever event it is that you want to win in.
00:11:17:00 - 00:11:41:12
Erik Orton
And if you let yourself be in a I'll say it in just just in in your own category, you can win every time. And here's the second thing that I loved about it is that Lily actually did win in the sense that each of her performances at the state championship was her best performance throughout the whole year. Yeah, On her.
00:11:41:12 - 00:11:42:14
Emily Orton
First personal record.
00:11:42:14 - 00:12:01:06
Erik Orton
Personal records, I think on the first one she shaved off, I don't know, 9 seconds, like you said. And the second one, it was closer to 20 seconds and she's not done yet. You know, she wants to keep swimming and racing and she will get faster and she will get faster. But it wasn't like she slouched and just goofed around in the pool.
00:12:01:08 - 00:12:11:19
Erik Orton
All that work and all that effort and all the progress that she made culminated in this moment. And it was her best performance. So I feel like she won. She won no matter what.
00:12:11:20 - 00:12:35:04
Emily Orton
Yeah, it wasn't like, well, I was the only one in the category, so of course I'm going to win. Like, she really pushed herself and felt the satisfaction of doing her best. She had to ignore the crowd. She had to two quick turns. She had to keep swimming and not get distracted, even when it's I think her her 100 meter is about 3 minutes.
00:12:35:04 - 00:12:43:11
Emily Orton
And so you can easily get distracted in 3 minutes when there's hundreds of people like waving at you and cheering for you.
00:12:43:13 - 00:12:54:02
Erik Orton
I think just to illustrate some of some of the things that she's had to work through was stopping to blow your kisses, mid-race. She had to overcome that kind of thing and.
00:12:54:02 - 00:13:02:17
Emily Orton
Like, giving her like thumbs up or shaka to people or just like, adjusting her glasses or her swimsuit in the middle or, you know.
00:13:02:18 - 00:13:03:19
Erik Orton
While racing, while.
00:13:03:19 - 00:13:23:04
Emily Orton
Racing or or just like stopping at the end of the lane to like, check in with the coach and see how they're doing before she turns and continues on the race. And I mean, and I think that actually something we can all relate to as well. It's so super easy to get distracted. So I love this comparison is the thief of joy.
00:13:23:04 - 00:13:49:08
Emily Orton
And if you are very clear and custom about what success means to you and how you are defining it, you don't have to compare yourself with other people. What you might say is, Hey, they're out here doing their best and I'm also out here doing my best. In that way. We're the same. Our inputs may be different and our outcomes may be different, but we are.
00:13:49:12 - 00:14:20:02
Emily Orton
We're both doing our best. And I feel great about the progress that I'm personally making. So in that in that way, I think we can find if you want to like really deep dive into this whole idea, there's a book called Blue Ocean Strategy where it's talking about just playing where you want to play and not competing in the in the feeding frenzy of what everyone else is trying to do.
00:14:20:04 - 00:14:22:22
Erik Orton
Do you mind if I delve into that book a little bit real quick?
00:14:22:22 - 00:14:23:17
Emily Orton
Yeah.
00:14:23:19 - 00:14:28:03
Erik Orton
Okay. So this book is not new. It's been around for maybe.
00:14:28:05 - 00:14:30:02
Emily Orton
At least a day 15.
00:14:30:04 - 00:14:48:07
Erik Orton
it's least maybe, maybe even 20 years old because it's I read it a long time ago. It's by Harvard Business Press and it's the Blue Ocean strategy. I don't have it in front of me. We weren't planning to talk about this, but it's the difference between a blue ocean and a red ocean. And a red ocean means that the water is filled with blood because everyone's trying to win in the same space.
00:14:48:07 - 00:15:11:05
Erik Orton
It's competition space. And the idea of a blue ocean is just to go where nobody else is even competing. Nobody else is playing in that space. Nobody else is. You know, you have it to yourself. And the opening story from this book I remember, was Cirque du Soleil. Many, many people know about Cirque du Soleil these days.
00:15:11:07 - 00:15:14:11
Erik Orton
And I feel like, you know, their heyday, I don't know.
00:15:14:13 - 00:15:15:12
Emily Orton
Just the story.
00:15:15:14 - 00:15:25:06
Erik Orton
But but basically, at the time, the only game in town for the circus was Barnum, Ringling Barnum and Bailey might even how to say it. Anyway, that circus.
00:15:25:06 - 00:15:25:21
Emily Orton
Animals.
00:15:25:23 - 00:15:48:22
Erik Orton
You know and Yeah. And nobody was doing the kind of circus performance that Cirque du Soleil was doing and the circus was not a, was, was a bad business to be in. It was, it was one that was going obsolete and has since closed down. But the Ringling Barnum and Bailey Circus now no longer tours is as I understand.
00:15:48:23 - 00:15:49:03
Emily Orton
They.
00:15:49:03 - 00:16:12:20
Erik Orton
Closed and Cirque du Soleil, on the other hand, went in on something that nobody else was trying to do and became the absolute best at it and opened up show after show, tour after tour, sit down production after sit down production at the show to the point where they had, I think it was five shows running simultaneously full time in Las Vegas.
00:16:12:20 - 00:16:45:05
Erik Orton
In addition to their tours and other productions that were happening around the world, they were just mega. And so this this book, Blue Ocean Strategy, was talking about, And I just realized Lili's middle name is Ocean Show. So there's the tie in. So just this idea of play in the space that only you can and probably want to play in and you don't have to worry about the competition, you will become successful and enjoy the sort of the freedom of being in a place where there's no blood in the water.
00:16:45:05 - 00:17:02:04
Erik Orton
You're not trying to, you know, like go for anyone's jugular to win. You just get to be the best at what you do. And if and if that's a win for you, great. And if that's helpful to the people, great. But but it doesn't have to be about competing about with anyone else besides yourself.
00:17:02:06 - 00:17:31:20
Emily Orton
I love what you said just now because it makes me think about just being the best possible version of you. There's literally nobody else on the planet quite like you, and so you can really embrace yourself and just lean into the best You. There is nobody else who can compete with you on that. And it doesn't and it doesn't have to be competitive and you don't have to make those comparisons.
00:17:31:22 - 00:18:08:13
Emily Orton
But what we have noticed is that every time where we're making comparisons and thinking we should be where somebody else is, it doesn't really serve us. It doesn't help us progress faster, it doesn't help us, you know, keep our motivation up or believe in ourself anymore. So I love this. This this is a good conversation on really defining specific to you how you want to grow and progress in a way that it can completely disregard, you know, whatever anyone else is doing.
00:18:08:13 - 00:18:09:02
Emily Orton
And it's a.
00:18:09:02 - 00:18:11:00
Erik Orton
Friendly disregard for what other people think, a.
00:18:11:00 - 00:18:13:02
Emily Orton
Friendly disregard for what other people think.
00:18:13:08 - 00:18:23:01
Erik Orton
About you. Harry connick Jr is listening to this thinking, Erik is such a better podcaster than me, but I'm like so behind.
00:18:23:02 - 00:18:24:14
Emily Orton
I bet he's not.
00:18:24:16 - 00:18:24:20
Erik Orton
A.
00:18:24:22 - 00:18:26:00
Emily Orton
Worry about that at all.
00:18:26:00 - 00:18:29:00
Erik Orton
Drop me, Adam.
00:18:29:02 - 00:18:30:02
Emily Orton
That's a collab.
00:18:30:04 - 00:18:34:21
Erik Orton
Yeah. Okay. So, so how does this how to how can this, how can we help people in this area?
00:18:34:21 - 00:18:56:11
Emily Orton
Emily Well, I think that I mean for me the main takeaways are figuring out what you want to do, what matters to you, being the best at being yourself, and then not comparing yourself to other people. That leaves you free to cheer them on and pour out more good energy into the world and say Good for you. You're doing the things that matter to you.
00:18:56:13 - 00:19:04:01
Emily Orton
Me too. I'm also doing the things that matter to me. And here we are on this journey together. We're doing our best.
00:19:04:03 - 00:19:08:15
Erik Orton
Where can people go to get this sort of free headspace kind of experience?
00:19:08:17 - 00:19:48:12
Emily Orton
Well, we were thinking that sometimes it can be really hard to get out of your your headspace. But one of the ways that we've experienced that is the most efficient for clearing your head and really thinking about what matters to you is by changing your environment. Nothing will change your thoughts faster than changing your environment. And so one of the things that what we offer in that area are these one week sailing trips to beautiful places and you you get away from all the invisible drain in your everyday environment that's constantly reminding you of things you have to do are pulling you into your your rhythm.
00:19:48:14 - 00:20:18:04
Emily Orton
You get out on one of these sailing trips. You get this beautiful sunshine, this fresh air, this gorgeous water. You're trying new things, having new conversations and you start having new thoughts and new ideas and you have some playtime, which I think is the deepest form of rest. You get some quiet time and you have a chance to just reflect on, Hey, what what really matters most to me.
00:20:18:04 - 00:20:31:13
Emily Orton
And you'll do things that maybe you've never done before and you're like, What else am I capable of? It just opens you up to to trusting yourself, to thinking a little more clearly and maybe a little bigger. And so we offer these these sailing trips.
00:20:31:13 - 00:20:50:04
Erik Orton
Yeah, it's true. I see it over and over again as people go out sailing with us and we're doing we're doing trips two ways this year. So if one of these feels of interest to you, let's talk one of the ways is we do a private trip. If you have a group of 6 to 10 people and you want to go out as a group, it can be a group of couples.
00:20:50:04 - 00:20:57:16
Erik Orton
It can be two families, it can be a bunch of, you know, you want to have like a ladies getaway, a moms getaway, or pros.
00:20:57:16 - 00:20:58:06
Emily Orton
Or down.
00:20:58:06 - 00:21:00:03
Erik Orton
Or bro down or.
00:21:00:03 - 00:21:01:21
Emily Orton
Even coworkers.
00:21:01:23 - 00:21:10:16
Erik Orton
Or even coworkers colleagues, of course. Yeah. So if you want to go with a group, you know, just basically just drop us a line, you can email us or comment on any of our social.
00:21:10:17 - 00:21:11:22
Emily Orton
There will be a link below.
00:21:11:22 - 00:21:30:00
Erik Orton
And, and, and we'll just talk through it and we can find a custom trip, you know, a time and a place that would work for you and the people you want to go with. The other way is by the cabin. We have a couple of set trips where you can just come and it's easiest if you come to people because the cabins are usually set up for.
00:21:30:01 - 00:21:31:03
Emily Orton
Double occupancy.
00:21:31:03 - 00:21:47:15
Erik Orton
Occupancy. And so if you want to come, you know, we've done lots of couples can be a mom daughter, It can be two sisters, you know, father, son, whatever, or two friends, boyfriend, girlfriend, you know. And so, you know, whatever, if you want to just come out and try it out and you don't have a group, that's also fine.
00:21:47:15 - 00:21:59:10
Erik Orton
So by the cabin is the other way. And so, you know, just drop us a note and happy to fill you in on those details. You can also go to the awesome Factory dot NYC forward slash sailing 2024.
00:21:59:11 - 00:22:01:11
Emily Orton
That's the link you'll find below in the show notes.
00:22:01:12 - 00:22:06:01
Erik Orton
Find that link in the show notes and you can schedule time and we can answer all your questions there.
00:22:06:03 - 00:22:08:13
Emily Orton
What are some of the places you're going to be going?
00:22:08:15 - 00:22:25:01
Erik Orton
Was recently in the Bahamas. I'm heading to the Sea of Cortez, Mexico. Next month. I'm going to be in putting together a trip for a group to Thailand right now. Also looking to do some trips back to the Caribbean, to a couple of places.
00:22:25:01 - 00:22:26:13
Emily Orton
Do you have any space for the Greece?
00:22:26:15 - 00:22:30:08
Erik Orton
Yeah, Greece going to Greece this summer in July. One spot left at the moment.
00:22:30:08 - 00:22:31:01
Emily Orton
When cabin.
00:22:31:01 - 00:22:43:04
Erik Orton
One cabin. And so Mediterranean, Caribbean, a little bit of Pacific Ocean stuff. So lots of lots of fun places. So if you want to do that, let's chat. Happy to fill you in.
00:22:43:04 - 00:22:55:03
Speaker 1
And if you decide to come sailing with us and put down a deposit before March 15th, you'll get $500 off a cabin. So there's that to look forward to. Yeah, that's a good deal. $500 off before March 15.
00:22:55:07 - 00:23:19:20
Emily Orton
Okay. I want to close with just a little story about me comparing we were living in New York City. We're in this little tiny apartment. I had two small kids and we had this friend downstairs who was about my same age, but she was single and her life was vastly different than mine was. She would come over in the evening and tell me about work, tell me about the clubs, tell me about the men she was dating.
00:23:19:20 - 00:23:40:21
Emily Orton
And this day she came over and told me that she had just bought tickets to Peru. She was like, I just saw there was a great price on tickets to Peru. So me and a friend got tickets. We're going to go for a week. And I immediately felt like, What am I doing with my life? You know, like, why am I'm going to the playground three times a day?
00:23:40:23 - 00:23:42:11
Emily Orton
And what.
00:23:42:11 - 00:23:42:21
Erik Orton
Could be better.
00:23:42:21 - 00:24:09:19
Emily Orton
Than that? Her her life sounded so exotic and and glamorous to me. And I it's because I was comparing myself to her. I wasn't thinking, she comes over every day after work to play with my children. You know, I was thinking, she's going to Peru, you know, And, you know, we can't all have everything and the things that we want, you know, like, you know, you can't guarantee that you're going to have children, right?
00:24:09:21 - 00:24:34:07
Emily Orton
Or whatever. Anyway, the point is, I was comparing myself to her and it it made me feel pretty sad about the situation that I was in. And I thought about it a little more through the evening and I just kind of did a little check on my trajectory. And I had set my own goals and my own values, and they were that the most important things to me that I did want to have a family.
00:24:34:07 - 00:24:53:12
Emily Orton
I wanted to have those kids. And when I realized that I was living my dream and I was able to acknowledge that to myself, it made it so much easier for me to then say like, Hey, good for you. You're doing your dream. I have more than one dream in my life. But the ones that matter most, I'm doing right now.
00:24:53:12 - 00:24:59:05
Emily Orton
And and so it made it that I could be happier and I could be a better friend.
00:24:59:06 - 00:25:01:10
Erik Orton
You could cheer for I could lay next to you.
00:25:01:10 - 00:25:24:12
Emily Orton
I could cheer for them because I was. Because I knew I was happy with the choices that I had made. I own them. And anyway, that's my little story about not comparing, and I hope that this is helpful. We always hope that it's helpful. The things we're sharing can help you be more intentional, either about how you're living your life, how you're thinking about your life.
00:25:24:14 - 00:25:32:03
Emily Orton
So we always like to end this podcast with one of our favorite questions, which is what could go right?
00:25:32:05 - 00:25:34:19
Erik Orton
What could go right? Thanks for listening.
00:25:34:19 - 00:25:56:09
Speaker 1
Hey, it's Eric. Don't hit the pause button just yet, because I'm about to share the recording of a beautiful song with you that I think you'll love. It's written by two brothers, Beau and Bear Reinhart. They are from the band Needtobreathe. And this recording of the song was fun to make. I had some friends help me out with the backup vocals and I love how I feel singing it.
00:25:56:13 - 00:26:02:22
Speaker 1
I hope you'll love how you feel listening to it, and if you like it, I'd love to hear from you. Enjoy.
00:26:07:21 - 00:26:29:19
Unknown
Junebug is like Brady. And in.
00:26:29:21 - 00:26:33:10
Speaker 2
Bursting insiders.
00:26:33:12 - 00:26:38:04
Unknown
We cannot contain.
00:26:38:05 - 00:26:38:23
Speaker 2
Your love.
00:26:38:23 - 00:26:48:12
Unknown
Will surely come find us like blazing wild fires.
00:26:48:14 - 00:26:49:20
Speaker 2
Singing your.
00:26:49:20 - 00:27:03:16
Unknown
Name God have mercy, sweet love of my life I have surrendered to.
00:27:03:16 - 00:27:07:10
Speaker 2
Your desire.
00:27:07:12 - 00:27:10:16
Unknown
May the suffering.
00:27:10:18 - 00:27:12:02
Speaker 2
Stretch across.
00:27:12:02 - 00:27:18:14
Unknown
The sky These high years be.
00:27:18:14 - 00:27:33:04
Speaker 2
Multiplied.
00:27:33:06 - 00:27:35:05
Unknown
Your good dove.
00:27:35:05 - 00:27:37:02
Speaker 2
Is.
00:27:37:04 - 00:27:49:06
Unknown
Like radiant diver bursting insiders We cannot contain.
00:27:49:08 - 00:27:50:06
Speaker 2
Your life.
00:27:50:08 - 00:28:14:13
Unknown
Will surely come find us like blazing wildfire years singing your may God of mercy Sweet love my I have surrendered.
00:28:14:15 - 00:28:23:10
Speaker 2
To your desire. The stars stretch across.
00:28:23:10 - 00:28:29:13
Unknown
The sky These are years.
00:28:29:15 - 00:29:00:00
Speaker 2
Before divine.
00:29:00:02 - 00:29:11:21
Unknown
God's mercy sleep My I surrender to your.
00:29:11:21 - 00:29:14:23
Speaker 2
Desire.
00:29:15:01 - 00:29:26:01
Unknown
May tough may stretch across the sky These high years may.
00:29:26:01 - 00:29:27:10
Speaker 2
Not have.
00:29:27:12 - 00:29:46:16
Unknown
Had these high years. We hope to find these high Yes, they multiplied Your love.
00:29:46:16 - 00:30:00:16
Speaker 2
Is nigh Greedy and diamonds bursting Insiders We cannot contain.
00:30:00:18 - 00:30:03:14
Unknown
Your love will.
00:30:03:16 - 00:30:04:17
Speaker 2
Surely come.
00:30:04:17 - 00:30:11:09
Unknown
Find us like blazing wildfire.
00:30:11:10 - 00:30:25:02
Speaker 2
Singing your name.
