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Emily
Let's talk about money and how money can actually be an obstacle to making your dreams come true. Welcome to the what could right Go Right podcast. What could go right? I could say it right.
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Erik
You could say it right now.
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Emily
On this podcast, we talk about how to make my life more meaningful by thriving as a person or a partner and as a parent. I'm Emily Orton.
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Erik
I am Erik Orton.
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Emily
And in 2014 we bootstrapped a year on a sailboat with our five kids and then we reverse engineered a way, a template, a seven part template for going after big dreams. And we've done it again and again. Everything from writing a book to climbing cliffs to traveling the world. And we created this podcast to help you Master Midlife.
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Erik
Yes, yes, yes. So before we get into how money can be an obstacle to your dreams, I want to talk about Facebook Day. For those of you that don't know, also, quickly, Emily mentioned our book. The book is seven, and see if you haven't read it. It's really great. You should definitely read it and give it an Amazon review.
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Emily
Yeah, if you don't trust us, check the Amazon reviews and see. See if you're interested.
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Erik
So Facebook Day is coming up and our boat that we live on was named Fuzzy Wiig and we won't get into what that means right now. You can read the book, but February 8th is fuzzy week day. And so as we approach as a weekday, we want to celebrate and we want to celebrate with you. Just so you know, we celebrate Facebook Day by eating cinnamon rolls.
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Emily
And what's wrong with that? Who doesn't want to do that?
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Erik
Wherever we are in the world, we and our children all eat cinnamon rolls on that day because that was one of our favorite comfort foods when we first moved aboard. And we were really struggling and trying to figure out life. So here's what we want to do. Discovery call as you've heard me talk about them before. You go to our website, The Awesome Factory dot NYC Forward Slash Discovery A Discovery College for you.
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Erik
It's a way to discover what's possible in your life, how it can, how you can make your life as meaningful as possible.
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Emily
And how much does it cost since we're talking about money today?
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Erik
The price to you today right now is the low, low price of absolutely nothing at all.
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Emily
No money.
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Erik
Whatsoever. No money whatsoever. So you can schedule a discovery call for free. And here's the fun part for the first ten people that hear this and sign up for a discovery call, we are going to send cinnamon rolls directly to your door. Our treat. How's that sound? You want to party with us?
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Emily
I love it. Cinnamon roll party across the nation. This is only for people, residents in the U.S. These are U.S..
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Erik
Adults not shipping cinnamon rolls to Australia.
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Emily
Sorry, guys. We can we can definitely do our recipe anyway.
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Erik
Okay, So forward slash discovery. Check out the new website. And we did a great job revamping it. And also anyway. Yeah, and you'll get cinnamon rolls, so sign up first and people to sign up and happy first week day in advance.
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Emily
Okay, let's talk about money. I mean, cinnamon rolls are fun, but I think.
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Erik
Money is even more fun than.
00:03:03:15 - 00:03:32:06
Emily
Cinnamon. I don't know. Controversial. So money and so many people think you got to have money first and then you can dream big. But sometimes that belief can actually block you from bursting out of your comfort zone. Sometimes that is actually an excuse, and sometimes it can really trip you up when you're trying to get to a big dream.
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Erik
I'm going to talk about what we what we come across often as we we've been through this same hurdle and we come across it often when we coach folks, a lot of couples, an individual will get on with us and they say, you know, well, we try to get to bedrock and we're trying to help them discover what their dream is.
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Erik
And they say, Well, I want to run a business or I want to get into real estate. And I'm like, okay, tell me more about that. Like, well, because once I have a really strong real estate portfolio and I've got all this passive income, then I can or once I build a business and sell it and I have, you know, a big windfall of money, then I can.
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Erik
And you realize that the goals that they're talking about, you know, is that you were just saying, like if, if, if you took it at face value, the majority of the people that we coach want to be an entrepreneur, and that's not a bad goal. We're entrepreneurs.
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Emily
yeah, some people genuinely want that, but most of the people we talk to are just saying it because.
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Erik
That's because that's how they're going to get the money to do their actual dream and so they come up with these shadow dreams Shadow and anyway, so it can actually block you from thinking of what you actually want because you're just saying like, well, first step is to get the money to do it. Totally not true.
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Emily
Yeah, so you can hack that and say like so say you go down that natural path and you start thinking of all the ways you imagine you're going to get money. So you can then do what it is you actually are interested in and enthusiastic about, and that's on your heart. However you describe those aspirations that would help you be more enthusiastic about the life you're living and what you're contributing.
00:05:18:02 - 00:05:42:14
Emily
You can you can start down that path, making your money, earning plans, and then where you really want to focus on is what do you want the money for? And that's fine. If it's if it's like a a crutch to help you get to what it is you actually want. But most people talk about money because they're trying to figure out how.
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Emily
And it's really important first to focus on what? So what do you want the money for? If money were no object, if you had $1,000,000,000. Like, what is it that you actually want to experience and contribute in the world? That's what we want to get to. And then once you know that there are so many more creative ways to get there, that might not take as much money as you think.
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Erik
Can I share a story from Help me remember the name of this book? It's The Vagabond.
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Emily
yeah. Rough spots? Yeah. What's the name of the.
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Erik
It's called Vagabond.
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Emily
Excellent. Such a.
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Erik
Good book. Our daughter Carina gave us this book, you know, and so.
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Emily
She let us borrow it. Yeah, we gave it to her, and she was borrowing.
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Erik
So I'm reading it, and I'm going to paraphrase this. There's a story where it's talking about the movie Wall Street, which I don't remember seeing. It was kind of a 1980s movie, and I think Charlie Sheen was in it. And in the scene, as it's described in the book, he's saying, too, you know, they're all kind of miserable in there, Wall Street jobs and just grinding out, you know, long hours, days and weeks.
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Erik
And and he says, yeah, I'm just going to make a pile of money and then I'm going to get out of here and I'm going to go ride my motorcycle across Mongolia. And it's kind of this exotic, adventurous dream. And the guy writing the book, he's like, That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
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Emily
Because.
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Erik
Because he says, Do you know how little money it takes to ride a motorcycle across Mongolia, you know? Yeah. You buy a flight to wherever you go to start writing your motorcycle across Mongolia, and then you're probably going to buy a used motorcycle there, which is not going to cost a lot of money. And then your main expense is going to be gas and food in Mongolia, which is also going to be not a lot.
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Erik
And so it's like, you know, let's just say this guy's wildest dream costs somewhere between two and $10,000. It's like the whole reason he's grinding out his his prime years is to do this thing that's going to cost a few thousand dollars. And so to your point, Emily, which is saying, like, you don't need to, you know, retire with a pile of, you know, money or, you know, like have a seven figure windfall to go ride your motorcycle across Mongolia.
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Erik
You just say, like, I actually just need a few thousand dollars and a window of time to do it in.
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Emily
And how much do you think it would be worth worth to that Wall Street Empress Saria, you know, Wall Street trade or whatever? To be able to have a conversation with someone, to let them know what's actually possible for them in their life, that they're taking the hard way around. And they could save not only thousands of dollars, but.
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Erik
Thousands of.
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Emily
Hours, thousands of hours, and actually get after the things that they want to be doing and having new experiences and meeting new people. And so anyway.
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Erik
And, you know, I don't want to say.
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Emily
Little shout out to to those mentors that come along in our life. And if we can be those mentors for you, great. But if you find somebody else who helps you see, like it doesn't have to be as hard as you think it has to be. Let me save you some years.
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Erik
As we like to say in our family, Why make it hard when you can let it be easy?
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Emily
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Erik
And so not to hammer this hard, too hard or, you know, try to drive it home too hard. What we found in our own personal adventures. Yes, We lived on a sailboat, just so you know, for less than it cost us to live on land. I'll just say that, you know, details in the book. And we found all kinds of ways to travel the world that were outside of the need for money.
00:09:29:20 - 00:09:49:10
Erik
We just found creative ways to do it. And and we love talking about it. We love teaching people. That's one of the things we do when we coach. But I would just say that like to your point, what do you want the money for? And don't let hitting some arbitrary number of $1,000,000 or $5 million or $100,000, whatever it, you know, hitting some arbitrary number?
00:09:49:10 - 00:10:04:12
Erik
BE well, that's the tripping point where we actually start to do the actual dream, because then that's just that's just a moving target that will always be, you know, once you get to be like, well, it's I can't walk away from this moneymaking machine right now. No, I'm entangled in it.
00:10:04:13 - 00:10:31:09
Emily
Golden handcuffs. Anyway, I have one other question about money that maybe we could talk about this idea for a minute, and that is, how does a big dream or a really ambitious undertaking help us if we are in a money pinch? It's not like, I need to get this much money so that I can do my dream, but I'm in a hole and I'm feeling pretty discouraged about trying to get out of it.
00:10:31:09 - 00:10:48:11
Emily
I think a lot of people are in that situation right now with interest rates the way they are and all all of that stuff that's going on with our economy. So that can be another one where someone might say like, I don't really.
00:10:48:12 - 00:11:01:03
Erik
Let's let's paint a picture. Yeah, you got a you got a bunch of credit card debt or you got a crushing mortgage or you've been laid off or what other terrible financial things can happen or.
00:11:01:05 - 00:11:01:23
Emily
Yeah, maybe.
00:11:01:23 - 00:11:09:18
Erik
You have a bunch of medical bills. There's been a medical situation come up in your family that's required a lot of expensive treatment.
00:11:09:20 - 00:11:15:02
Emily
Or whatever stocks you've invested in have gone south instead of north.
00:11:15:04 - 00:11:15:21
Erik
Okay.
00:11:15:23 - 00:11:16:22
Emily
Well, whatever it might be.
00:11:17:00 - 00:11:24:12
Erik
Whatever, whichever of these scenarios you relate to, you're in a money pinch. So what your question is why? How can money.
00:11:24:14 - 00:11:31:04
Emily
How can how can a big dream help when you're stuck worried about money?
00:11:31:09 - 00:12:10:04
Erik
Okay, I'll tell you what I think. All right. I think that, first of all, that is a very discouraging, frustrating work can be a worrisome place to be full of anxiety or anxiousness, full of heaviness, bad sleep, bad health. And none of that is helpful. None of that is helpful. Whereas when in a nutshell, when we are trying to run away from something, there's no joy in that.
00:12:10:06 - 00:12:43:18
Erik
There's no joy in running away from something or trying to, you know, you could say digging yourself out of a hole is it's better than digging yourself into a hole, but it's not terribly inspiring. It doesn't have a lot of draw, but allowing yourself to entertain the idea of something beautiful and fun and adventurous in your future and have something to move toward that's motivating, that's exciting.
00:12:43:22 - 00:12:47:11
Erik
That's lifting.
00:12:47:13 - 00:12:48:05
Emily
It's hopeful.
00:12:48:05 - 00:12:48:16
Erik
It's hopeful.
00:12:48:16 - 00:13:27:03
Emily
It's like, once this isn't going to last forever, I'm resilient. Once I make my way out of this, I'm yes, I'm going to get out of the the discouraging situation I'm in, but I'm actually what I'm really looking forward to are the things that I'm going to do once I'm across that threshold. Like I'm not just running away from this pain in my current situation, I'm actually deliberately and hopefully running towards something beautiful that I'm really excited about and that is so empowering.
00:13:27:05 - 00:13:54:15
Erik
Yeah, And I think that it as we run away because some somebody might say, well, you know, isn't that just delusional? Isn't it delusional to think that, you know, I've got $50,000 in credit card debt or whatever, pick your number, you know, or $200,000 in student loans. And to say I'm going to think about I'll just say riding my motorcycle across Mongolia, because that's the one the example we've been using.
00:13:54:15 - 00:14:04:18
Erik
But isn't that just delusional? And if not, why not? Any thoughts?
00:14:04:20 - 00:14:27:00
Emily
Well, the thought I have is that when you talk to any like financial planner or a debt expert, they're going to help you because it's emotional. How we feel about money is emotional. It's not just the cold, hard facts on a spreadsheet. And they are going to tell you how is it going to feel when this burden isn't on your back anymore?
00:14:27:00 - 00:14:58:12
Emily
And then what are you going to do with the money you're currently giving to lenders? What are you then going to do with it? Because it is a tried and true method for helping you keep your hopes up and be looking forward to something while you engage in these new habits that are required. I'm just saying it's not that inspiring to want to change your habits and change your mindset to avoid some pain.
00:14:58:14 - 00:15:10:23
Emily
It's more inspiring to be looking forward to something being like, this is getting me closer to something I really want instead of getting me farther away from something I don't feel comfortable with.
00:15:11:01 - 00:15:35:19
Erik
And I'll say this I think one of the benefits of having something to move towards is that it puts you it puts you in a better frame of mind, like you said. And I think that what happens is that if you're hopeful, if you're optimistic, you're going to come up with better ideas, actually, like practically more helpful or more progress making solutions than you ever will.
00:15:35:20 - 00:15:39:11
Erik
Coming from a place of anxiety or worry or fear.
00:15:39:12 - 00:16:00:05
Emily
And it sharpens your focus about how you're going to use your resources. Because like, again, just the idea that it's not inspiring if you're looking at, am I going to stay, for example, take my family out to dinner tonight and you're looking at, no, I'm not going to do it because I have this burdensome debt and I need to pay it off.
00:16:00:05 - 00:16:21:13
Emily
So this money is going to go towards that instead. Then every time you're making that choice, you're thinking about this unsuccessful situation, this sort of negative situation. But if you're thinking, am I going to take are we going to go out for dinner tonight? And you're maybe thinking, we want to take a trip to Mongolia, we're just going to stay with the theme.
00:16:21:15 - 00:16:42:07
Emily
Then you're like, Ooh, would I rather go out to dinner or what? I rather be moving towards my trip to Mongolia and it feels like a success. It feels like you're empowered and you're deliberately moving to something awesome that you're excited about. And yes, all along the way you're paying off your debt. But it's it feels better.
00:16:42:09 - 00:16:45:04
Erik
Not going out to dinner is moving you towards Mongolia.
00:16:45:04 - 00:17:07:02
Emily
Yeah. Whereas if you're in that discouraged mindset, you're always like, Wow, I deserve a little reprieve and you'll be more likely to fritter away on on little things. But if you're like, no, we have like this really ambitious goal and we're going to do this saying me and my spouse or me and my kids or me and my buddy or whatever it is, then you're like, Yeah, I can wait, I can wait, I can wait.
00:17:07:04 - 00:17:24:17
Emily
It just like I said, it sharpens your focus and how you're going to use your time, your resources, and it really gives you something to look forward to. I say this from personal experience because when we decided that we wanted to live on a sailboat, the idea came when we were broke.
00:17:24:19 - 00:17:25:14
Erik
True story.
00:17:25:16 - 00:17:26:03
Emily
And.
00:17:26:03 - 00:17:27:11
Erik
Beyond broke.
00:17:27:12 - 00:17:46:14
Emily
Beyond broke. And we had just learned of a like, lifelong diagnosis. Our for our youngest that we just found out she had Down syndrome and we didn't know what it meant. And there were all kinds of like uncertainties in our life. But we came up with this idea that we were really excited about and the whole family got excited about it.
00:17:46:14 - 00:18:09:21
Emily
And so when we had to start choosing between this and that, we always made the choices that moved us closer and closer to our dream of living on a sailboat. And for us, it took four years to do that. First big dream. If we were going to run the cycle again, or if we could go back to 2010, knowing what we know now, we would have left so much faster.
00:18:09:23 - 00:18:36:09
Emily
And now we do everything faster because now we have a template and that's what we coach people on. But the first go around that dream was so exciting and so inspiring and so clear and real to us that we said yes to that dream over and over again. And it never really felt like we were saying no to anything because we always wanted to get on a sailboat more than we wanted some of those short term temporary options.
00:18:36:11 - 00:18:54:22
Erik
So there's three things we want to hit on this podcast episode. The first one that we've already talked about is Don't let your money goal be a block you from what your actual goal is. Think about. Yes, no problem with earning money. We're big fans of money, but also what do you want the money for? And it might cost less than you think.
00:18:54:22 - 00:19:13:04
Erik
And it might. And there might actually be a way to do the thing without money at all. And, you know, and we've certainly had that experience. So don't let your money go become an obstacle or blind spot for a seeing your actual goal. Be willing to go past the money and say, well, assuming I had the money or if there was or the thing didn't require money.
00:19:13:04 - 00:19:34:18
Erik
So that's number one. Number two is having an inspiring goal or a dream or a vision or what we call an island actually helps you get past your money obstacles because it motivates you to have the financial discipline to improve whatever situation you're in, whether it's getting out of debt or getting the cash together to make something happen.
00:19:34:18 - 00:19:58:11
Erik
Whatever it is, it's it's a lot better. It's better to have nothing to run towards and to run away from. So that's the second one. The third one, I think, is this. It can be a game and this is a small example, but when we were in our apartment in New York, we it was small. And because we had kids, a lot of the stuff that we owned ended up getting beat up because we had four kids at four.
00:19:58:11 - 00:20:01:03
Emily
We just got it when it was already pretty old.
00:20:01:03 - 00:20:02:16
Erik
Or we got it second hand because.
00:20:02:16 - 00:20:03:07
Emily
Yeah.
00:20:03:09 - 00:20:10:12
Erik
And so, Emily, you really, really wanted a new couch. You hated the way our a camera, which we had various couches.
00:20:10:17 - 00:20:19:05
Emily
Whatever it was, we, we had never had a new couch. And I really wanted to, like, choose the couch.
00:20:19:07 - 00:20:27:23
Erik
Yeah, some that wasn't hand-me-down. Yeah. And so we made a deal, and I can't remember how the deal came about, but we made it a game.
00:20:28:01 - 00:20:59:19
Emily
Yeah, we made it because I really wanted a new couch and. And. And Eric said, Well, we're not just going to go get a new couch. And he said, How about if we make a game where if we can pay for a new couch from some kind of passive income, then that's when we'll buy the couch, not when it's just coming straight out of our paycheck, but when it's this other approach to getting money.
00:20:59:19 - 00:21:10:03
Emily
And so we made a very small investment in a show that they gave a return. Yeah.
00:21:10:03 - 00:21:11:17
Erik
And I was working in the theater industry.
00:21:11:17 - 00:21:27:06
Emily
Yeah, And the theater industry. Yeah. And and so when the royalty checks came, we were able to go buy a brand new couch. And I got it from IKEA. So, you know, this isn't going to be in Architecture Digest magazine. But it was.
00:21:27:06 - 00:21:33:17
Erik
I remember it was $800. It was not like custom built couch or something. It was like an IKEA.
00:21:33:17 - 00:21:35:18
Emily
But that's that was a chunk.
00:21:35:18 - 00:21:36:14
Erik
That's a chunk of money. Yeah.
00:21:36:19 - 00:21:48:15
Emily
Yeah. So you could do a lot with that money and, and it was the size and the shape and the color and with washable and everything. It was, it was exactly what I wanted.
00:21:48:19 - 00:21:52:12
Erik
I think it was the first couch we ever paid for. Is that true?
00:21:52:14 - 00:21:59:09
Emily
No, we, we, our first couch was $25, and that was also a good one. But this.
00:21:59:11 - 00:21:59:21
Erik
We've come.
00:21:59:21 - 00:22:20:02
Emily
A long way. We've come a long way. But anyway, it was a great couch. We all loved that couch. And that's how we did it, though We made it a game. I was like, that lets me know that at some point I am going to get my couch, but I have to earn enough passive income points that I can then transfer over to have turned that into a new couch.
00:22:20:04 - 00:22:29:18
Emily
And it was it was so awesome and we both felt good about it when we got it. Didn't have to come out of our regular budget. It came out of that lost income.
00:22:29:18 - 00:22:53:07
Erik
Yeah. So, okay, so the third one is let it be a game money. I know money is serious. Of course it's real and it makes real things happen and it makes real things feel out of reach. All that. But if we can just lighten up a little bit and let it be fun and let it be a game and maybe just try seeing it differently, try letting it be not serious, try letting it be whimsical or delightful.
00:22:53:09 - 00:23:11:16
Erik
And maybe if we just think about money a little bit differently will interact with it differently. And so anyway, let it be a game. So those are the three things I would say. Just don't let the money go or block you from your actual goal. Have something to run towards instead of just run away from and maybe have fun with.
00:23:11:16 - 00:23:16:09
Erik
It won't be a game. Anything else you want to say about money today?
00:23:16:11 - 00:23:18:22
Emily
I don't want to say anything else about money today.
00:23:19:00 - 00:23:19:15
Erik
That's enough.
00:23:19:15 - 00:23:47:10
Emily
Okay. I think that's enough for right now. There's there's so much that you can say, but I think if you found any value, had some good takeaways. We hope that you'll subscribe. Give us a review or maybe even the best thing. Maybe the algorithm loves reviews the best, but we love it. If you would share this with somebody else who you think might benefit from it or who you want to talk about, these things would say, Hey, why don't you listen?
00:23:47:10 - 00:24:00:13
Emily
This podcast and then we can talk about it, how we want to do some of these things in our life, modify their suggestions, whether we agree, disagree, and yeah, share it with someone you love.
00:24:00:15 - 00:24:13:01
Erik
So just a little bit back to the beginning. Remember Phasiwe day is coming up February 8th. That's our personal family holiday and we'd love to celebrate with you. So everybody that goes to the awesome Factory NYC forward slash discovery.
00:24:13:01 - 00:24:13:13
Emily
This will be in the.
00:24:13:13 - 00:24:20:05
Erik
Links in signs up for a discovery called The first ten people are going to get cinnamon rolls delivered to your door by us people.
00:24:20:05 - 00:24:21:17
Emily
In the United States of America.
00:24:21:17 - 00:24:23:06
Erik
The United States and.
00:24:23:11 - 00:24:24:17
Emily
Continental us.
00:24:24:17 - 00:24:28:23
Erik
Yeah, boy, lots of like you're like a walking Asterix France.
00:24:28:23 - 00:24:29:10
Emily
Yeah.
00:24:29:13 - 00:24:48:20
Erik
You read the fine print. Also, if you want to stay with us in 2024, we've got and also another cool landing page. So just go to our website the Awesome Factory at that NYC forward slash sailing 2024. There's some great info there about our upcoming trips or just the trips in general, The trips in general. And then we'll get on a call.
00:24:48:20 - 00:24:50:03
Erik
We'll fill you in and see if it's a match.
00:24:50:03 - 00:24:53:10
Emily
But now's the time because they're 40 to 50% off. Yeah.
00:24:53:10 - 00:25:10:19
Erik
So this year we're doing some deep, deep discount stuff while we explore new places for us. Plus, it's the middle of winter and it's so nice to have a warm sailing trip to look forward to as you sit through whatever January weather, February weather you're sitting through. I know it's cold here, so.
00:25:10:23 - 00:25:11:08
Emily
Yeah.
00:25:11:13 - 00:25:13:17
Erik
Sure. That's everything I got. Hey.
00:25:13:19 - 00:25:19:01
Emily
We always love to end this podcast by asking what could go right.
00:25:19:03 - 00:25:20:05
Erik
Thank you for listening.
