Erik + Emily Orton
Do you ever feel like you are drifting through life and you'd rather take the helm and navigate your way through? Well, we're going to talk a little bit about that on today's podcast. Welcome to the What Could Go Right podcast. My name is Emily Orton. And I am Erik Orton. And here we talk about personal growth, family connections, and raising adult kids.
Today we have some awesome guests with us. We're so excited to interview Brooke and Nathan Schmoe, and we're gonna hear about their dream and their journey and how they wanted to reclaim life with their four kids. So welcome to the show.
Schmoes
Hey! Thanks! We're so excited!
Erik + Emily Orton
I'm excited for this conversation. We've known each other for a long time. First of all, you got four girls and what are their ages?
Schmoes
13, 10, 8, and 4.
Erik + Emily Orton
Awesome. And you guys have been married for how long?
Schmoes
15 years in January.
Erik + Emily Orton
Okay, awesome. So go back as far or as little back as you want and just kind of, we want to just hear your story, your journey from before your... what we'll just call adventure. We'll let you introduce what your idea was and so now.
Schmoes
Okay. Do you want to take us on? Sure. So we know the Orton's from New York City. Nate and I were both there independently of each other, ended up meeting, getting married, and then we were in the same church as Eric and Emily, and that's kind of how we got to know them. And I think from the get-go we were just really inspired by your family. You guys were just different. There were a lot of people who were different in New York City, but you were good different. Like...
Erik + Emily Orton
Fair.
Schmoes
We loved, we came to your house one night for dinner and just the chaos of your five kids and how you handled it and like just with a lot of fun and a lot of laughter and you were doing something that seemed so impossible to me as a, you know, young married person with no kids, like homeschooling in a small apartment and yeah. So I think that's probably was the first spark of
inspiration like wow these people are doing things and having fun and I like it. It was like a magnetic attraction. It seemed like a good illustration of enjoying parenthood instead of enduring it right? It was a very cool example of that. Right. Yeah you're welcome. Yeah so um
Erik + Emily Orton
That is high praise. Thank you. Enjoying rather than enduring. Thank you.
Schmoes
We just kind of stayed in touch and then we're kind of, we watched your sailing trip from a distance, just hearing about what you guys were doing and getting updates and then. Not the entire thing, because remember there was a trip where, so part of their trip, I don't know, I can't remember if this is, I think it is in your book, you stopped and you, yes it is, and you, so you all stopped in Florida where we were at, located at the time, and that was a really good follow-up.
Erik + Emily Orton
It's in the book.
Schmoes
to, you know, we had kind of spent some time apart at that point, but getting reconnected to you guys at that point was incredible. And Brooke couldn't be there because we were following our own off the beaten path. Brooke was in school at that time, and it was awesome to get to connect with you guys and see you living this. It was inspirational even then. It's just to see you guys sailing with all of your kids on this sailboat, and it was incredible. I was like, this is awesome. And I went away from that. I told Brooke about it when I came home.
There's something to this and we just hadn't quite cracked the code on that one yet, but it was very interesting. Yeah, and then we've just kind of, we've been following lots of other dreams and um...
like work-related dreams and things like that, but not any family-related dreams. Like, of course, it was our dream to have kids, and we lived on a ranch for a while and gardened, and so that was all fun, but we recently reconnected with you guys for on a sailing trip. We went to the Virgin Islands, and...
That was really like a catalyst, I think, for Nate and I to plus midlife, right? Well, I think we got to this point where I don't want to say we were going through the motions, but I think everybody has this moment or at least experiences this to some degree or another where you're like, OK, something needs to change. Right. Like life is good. It's not that life is bad. We're not complaining, but.
Time's slipping by and we're not quite doing everything that we want to be doing. We're not living our best life, right? I mean, life's good again, but could we get more out of it? Could we squeeze some more juice from this, you know, orange that we're partaking of? And yeah, meeting up with you guys really started to reshape our perspective on what was possible. Yeah, so during our sailing trip,
Schmoes
So I think one of our most impactful experiences on our sailing trip was the night of guided meditation where we were laying on the deck of the sailboat with so many stars in the sky. It was such a beautiful night. The wind was blowing and you started playing.
the blue sky meditation questions that were asking, just these searching questions of like, what would you do if you weren't scared? And what do you want more of in your life? And we've had totally undistracted minds. Our kids were far away, our phones were far away, our jobs were far away. And I think we talked after the fact like how surprising it was.
how loudly and quickly our answers came of like, oh my gosh, this is what we want. And it was very obvious. And one of the things that came up was more intentional adventures with our kids. So we came up with this goal of having five epic summer adventures with our family before our oldest daughter graduates high school and moves out. So
That was kind of the birth of our dream. Was that night.
Erik + Emily Orton
That was a really fun trip. We had a good time and I have to say that those, that opportunity to just be on the deck of a boat with the breeze and the stars and like you said, just being far away from everything. So it's actually one of the reasons we like to do those trips on a boat because it helps us remove ourselves from our everyday. And I love the way you described it. You said that how, did you say how loud and clear your answers came? Even though I'm sure it was just an idea.
there wasn't anything loud. It was just, we're laying there in the silence, but I love that way you describe it.
Schmoes
It's just different because the thing that was interesting when we came back to the real world, we came back and of course immediately life begins without missing a beat. All of a sudden work is expecting things of you, your boss is expecting things of you, your kids, your wife. Your whole life is all of a sudden just.
pulling that back. You know, like it's almost like the shade is coming back over, you know, those questions and it's shadowing everything that you felt on those, on that, that we felt on that trip. At least I did. I remember feeling that when we came back. But I think that's the cool part about going on that trip was that it kind of pulled all the blinders off, all the shade off of that part of you. And you're just able to ask yourself sincere, honest questions.
without all the distractions. It was really, really cool. And that's definitely why it was so loud and why it was such a very intense answer, I guess. So maybe it's the answer. Yeah. And it was helpful to write them all down so that we could reference them when, you know, the pace of life picked back up and distractions were aplenty.
Erik + Emily Orton
because the barriers were removed. Is that what you're saying?
Schmoes
And then we did some one-on-one coaching with you guys, and that was really helpful. We were just talking tonight about, like kind of how we went from, this could never happen, this dream is so out of reach, to, oh my gosh, we're doing this. And it was really the accountability piece, I think.
It was being accountable to you, all we've met once a week for a while, and you kind of gave us step, okay, this week, let's work on this, and then this week, let's work, and you kind of got us stoked on it too. Like, you know, we did this as a family and we went here and you can do, and so that part was really helpful. But then also telling our kids about it, like next summer, we're doing this thing. And then once it came out of our mouths and
and they knew about it and our family knew about it, then we're like, okay, we gotta make this happen. We gotta make this happen somehow.
Erik + Emily Orton
Okay, can I jump in here? I have two things that I want to back up a little bit because I remember, I can't remember why we had gone sailing and it had been a few months and I just texted or emailed or something. I was like, Hey, how's it going? Just checking in. And I remember one of you said, you know, oh man, life has gotten us like we just went right back in and like you already described that Nate.
Anyway, I guess, can you talk a little bit about that period between coming home from sailing with so many ideas and such clear answers and then kind of deliberately starting on a path forward? Just take a second to talk about the in-between there if you don't mind.
Schmoes
It was messy. Well I think that, so yes it was messy, that's a good way to put it, is I mean I kind of already touched on this a little bit but I feel like what really pulled us through that and just the kind of re-entering the noise of life.
Erik + Emily Orton
I'm going to go to bed.
Schmoes
was, and honestly it was funny because I was thinking about this earlier as we were talking, it made me think of my old acting coach when I was in, when I lived in New York. I had done some acting and my acting coach used to say to me, the power of my thoughts in space. And he would say that. And he would have me say things and he would basically, to give myself a suggestion about the kind of character I was playing, he's like, you need to say things out loud to tell yourself that this is, that this is who you are. And that's what he would say, the power of your thoughts in space. And so...
what I would do during this whole experience, that's what we do, we tell our kids, oh, we're doing this. Like even before we were convinced that we were actually going to do it, we started telling them, yeah, we're doing this. This is a trip we're taking, you know? And then we tell our family, and I don't even not even convinced that it's happening yet. But if I start saying it enough, I feel like it's going to come to fruition because I'm sort of wheeling it into existence. And I think for me personally, that's kind of what.
Kind of got us there at least me internally. I can't speak for Brooke on that front Yeah, and I think before we even got there was a lot of vacillating like oh that was a fun trip That was such a nice little night where we dreamed for about what we could be but we got work to do, you know and then and then also that longing of like no but I really did want to do that like when I was laying and In the dark, that's what my brain said I wanted to
So just kind of vacillating back and forth between those things. Nate bought a whiteboard that is still hanging on our wall and he got busy like right away writing down. These are, you know, this is what came up. These are my goals. This is what I want to do. So that visual was helpful. There was definitely some conflict. I wouldn't say conflict but I don't know a better word where we just both felt frustrated with
the pace of our life and the trajectory and knowing, you know, what we wanted, where we wanted to be and where we were and not really knowing how to cross that chasm.
Erik + Emily Orton
That's a strong dissonance that disconnect between where you are and where you want to be and not knowing how to bridge it. And it can be a call to adventure too. What I really love is, first of all, that you wrote the things down while you were in that space and in that mind frame and then you had them to refer to. And then writing things out again, I was just listening to somebody who was saying, if I ask you what's four plus seven, you can do that in your head.
But if I ask you what's 382 plus 4,178, you might be able to figure it out in your head, but it's gonna be a little easier if you pull out a piece of paper and write it down. And how can we then look at these complex relationships and hopes and dreams and think we're gonna sort it all out just in our head without actually writing it down and being able to look at it? So anyway, I just love that.
you actually put in the effort to capture that feeling so that you held yourself accountable to go back and say, no, this is how I felt in the moment. I'm not making it up. I wrote it down. It's right here. And I have it on my whiteboard now.
Schmoes
Yeah, it's amazing. What's funny about that, and it actually still happens now because I have other islands that I'm pursuing, right? I have other things that I'm trying to do that are on my whiteboard at various stages of gestation. But it's funny how sometimes I look at that whiteboard and I'm like,
I am not ever, I'm never gonna do that. Like that's just there, it's just gonna sit there on my board for 10 years and it's never gonna happen. And then, but then the next day I'll be sitting at my desk and look at my whiteboard and I go, okay, I have an idea. And then I'll go write it on the board, you know what I mean? And it's like, even though that there are days when it's hard, where you're just like, oh my gosh, this is nowhere near possible. But they're very quickly followed up by, you know, moments of clarity where you're like, nope.
Erik + Emily Orton
No.
Schmoes
This is happening. This is what we've decided. This is the kind of life I want. These are the things that I want. And it just, it's still there. You know what I mean? It's still there and it's still a work in progress. So.
Erik + Emily Orton
I wanna share, I wanna paraphrase a quote real quick that I was rereading today. And then I wanna dive in with you guys a little bit on kind of the coaching experience that we went through together and what that was like for you. We were actually on a coaching call today and I was reminded of this quote because what we talked about was that like, we were doing some of the blue sky stuff and I was like, so how does that feel? And it was like, oh man, just feels empty because none of it feels possible.
And I was like, okay, I appreciate the honesty. And it reminded me of this quote by, who's our psychocybernetics guy? Maxwell Maltz. Maxwell Maltz. And we actually have part of this quote in our dining room where we see it every day. You know, it's one of those little boards that you put the letters in. Yeah, a word board. And it says, mentally play with the idea of complete and inevitable success. And first, and then he goes on to say,
Schmoes
Okay.
Erik + Emily Orton
Don't try to force your mind or exert your mind to make something that feels impossible become possible. Just let it sit there, like you're describing it. Let it sit on your whiteboard. Just let it sit there on your whiteboard and ruminate on it, or as Emily and I would say, marinate on it, and just kind of like soak in it. And then, you said it's basically the, it's like the worry is sort of the negative version of what we do where we're like, oh man.
Schmoes
I'm going to take a few minutes to get back to you.
Erik + Emily Orton
That's an idea and that could happen. That would be terrible. And then we start to like fill in the blanks and we start to imagine and it starts to, we kind of like give it a life. And he's saying, do the same thing, but just in the opposite direction, just say, put it out there and be like, man, that seems like something that could happen. And then I guess it's not totally impossible. There's a slight chance it could happen. And then.
As you sort of sit with it and marinate, it starts to fill in with details and it starts to take on a life of its own. And so I love, Nate, that you're just saying like, you just put it there and let it grow. I also love that you said you were telling your children and your family members prior to you really being convinced that it was gonna work out. You're like, we may have to work this back, but we're putting it out there right now. And one of the amazing things that happens when you have the courage to share that.
And then out loud, what did your acting coach say, Nate? You speak in the power of my thoughts in space. Yeah, I think it's a similar idea. And is that then those people will start being like, oh, my sister and brother-in-law are doing this thing. Oh, we know these people who did something like that. Maybe they can come over for dinner or, you know, just it starts creating the network or the web that's gonna like draw that.
Schmoes
The power of my thoughts in space.
Erik + Emily Orton
dream into reality the more you let people know about it. When our kids were growing up, we said, people will tell you like, don't say your wish or it won't come true. We'll say the opposite. Tell as many people as you can about your birthday wish or whatever it might be, your goal, your hope. And then they're gonna be looking out for you. They're gonna be on your team and kind of supporting to make it happen.
Schmoes
and I'm just wondering if you could just give us a little bit of a brief introduction the
Schmoes
I remember actually, because I think this was during our coaching classes that we took with you guys after the trip, and I can't remember exactly how you worded it, but it was something to the effect of once you start talking about it, it's amazing how many people just start to come into your path that are going to end up helping you along the way. And I remember the first time that happened was with a couple that we had over for dinner that lives down the street.
They go to our church as well, but we invited them over for dinner We're like, hey, let's come over. Let's hang out as we and we just I think it just came up I don't remember how we it came up, but we started talking about this trip We want to take and they were like, oh we did something similar recently We're like, oh really you did and they started telling us how they had this whole RV trip plan and they it actually was it was Simultaneously discouraging and encouraging because one there were people that thought like us and that had done this before But they had kind of had an epic failure
Because they had rented this RV and it turned into this big thing and they ended up, I think, canceling the trip or it getting thwarted in some way. But it was also encouraging because we had this information of like, oh, let's not do that they did. Let's do something different. So it was good and bad, but it was also, I think it was all generally good in the long run.
Erik + Emily Orton
Hehehe
Erik + Emily Orton
Yeah.
Erik + Emily Orton
Because originally you were going to do an RV trip and then you decided to not do an RV trip, partly because of that conversation. Is that right?
Schmoes
Correct. Yeah. Yeah, we ended up with a tent on the top of our minivan. It's very different.
Erik + Emily Orton
Okay, so let's go back and we started meeting for sessions like this on Zoom and talking, and then just kind of walk us through what it was like for you guys from the beginning, because you already said you had some ideas and they felt far-fetched and you started putting them out in the world and that felt like a risk. Take us a little bit through that journey of after the sailing trip, how it all worked out, how it feels.
Schmoes
Yeah, I think the guidebook that came with our sailing trip was so helpful because it just takes you through slow, methodical execution plan of first you have to figure out exactly where you're going and then I don't know all the steps in order so I'm not even going to try. But basically there's some things that you can put on autopilot.
Erik + Emily Orton
I'm going to go.
Schmoes
that's, you know, if you just kind of calculate that early, then, you know, that's, you're going to be there when you need to be. There's, um...
Yeah, just figuring out the slow methodical steps was helpful week by week. And the accountability was really helpful, too. I'm like, knowing, oh, shoot, we're going to be with the Orton. On my they're going to ask, what we've done. We got to do something. Oh, yeah. Hey.
Erik + Emily Orton
Hehehehe
Erik + Emily Orton
That was fun. That was so fun. One of the things I loved most was being like, wait, this was a win and this was a win and this was a win and you guys have done way more than you're giving yourself credit for. You're moving. Those are some of my favorites.
Schmoes
That was probably one of the best parts of meeting with you guys like that was just, we didn't always recognize when we were having success. We would think like, ah, this was an epic failure. Oh man, we're not getting anywhere. And then as we were telling, and then as you kind of poked us about the different, you just had questions and we would answer them. And you're like, no, you've had success. Look at this, this and this that you've done. Oh, it was very encouraging. It was really, really good to have that.
that coaching tip. Another thing I wanted to point out, and I'll use some of your lingo, the navigating out of the harbor, that was one that I actually, I actually liked that step a lot actually. And I'm gonna equate it to something that, sort of analogy I came up with regards to my kids. So Stella, our daughter Stella, she's 13, and I was describing to somebody one time about her behavior and I said, and she was acting a certain way in the car, and I'm like, that's not her. But then I...
told somebody the story and they kind of, they were like, why are you letting her talk like that? And I said, she's just trying on a personality, right? Like at that age of 13, that's what you do, right? You just try on a personality and you kind of take it off and you put on another one and you just put on all these personas to see who you are and you experiment. And I kind of equated that to navigating out of the harbor and I felt like that's what we were doing, is that we were experimenting with so many different things that were not us, or at least we didn't know if it was us, right, we were experimenting with all these different things of like, are we gonna do an RV or are we gonna do, you know, like we didn't know.
Erik + Emily Orton
Mm-hmm.
Schmoes
So a lot of it is just trial and error. And that was kind of how I wanted to equate that. I felt like it was a good analogy. Trying on different personalities.
Erik + Emily Orton
I like that. Yeah, trying different thoughts, different personalities. Yeah, I love that so much. I often say like, why should I be embarrassed that I tried something on or tried something out and then realized that's not for me and then set it back down again? I just said, okay, I learned a lesson from that and there's no reason for me to go around, you know, carrying a burden of shame for finding a mismatch. I'm just...
seeking things out. It's like going to this, going clothing shopping and you try something on, you're like, I don't like the way it looks on me, or I don't like the way it fits, but then you find just the right thing. And there's nothing wrong with trying on something that you don't actually buy. Yeah, or decide to keep, yeah, I love that. And I love the analogy to be able to say that with your daughter and give her the freedom and the liberty to try it on and not feel like, oh, now I'm locked in, right?
Everyone's expecting me to go this way now. I was like, hey, how is that working for you? It's not working for us right now, or it is working for us, but how's it working for you? Emily and I obviously know the details of your five epic summers and at least the first one. For those that are listening that don't know, can you share as much as you're willing about at least your first one?
Schmoes
Thank you.
Erik + Emily Orton
And then some of the obstacles that came up along the way and how you were able, how you approach those and how it turned out.
Schmoes
Go ahead. I'm going to go. OK. Next one.
Erik + Emily Orton
Yeah, yeah, and you can tell us how you how you shared it with your kids too and kind of their part in it.
Schmoes
Let's see. So when we first kind of introduced the idea to our kids, we didn't really know exactly how it was going to pan out, like at least not in what order. We just decided that we're going to take a road trip. And when we say that to them, I don't think they really understood exactly what that meant. So there was a lot of a month. It was four
Erik + Emily Orton
How long of a road trip?
Schmoes
four weeks. So that was about as much time off as I could get at work. I used all of my PTO in one sitting and Brooke had kind of had to arrange her schedule so that she could actually have that much time off. She had to actually turn away certain clients because she's a midwife. So she couldn't, you know, she has like a certain window where women are in window for a birth. And so she had to clear her calendar a bit to be able to actually do that. So it was a little bit of legwork, but once we got that kind of set up,
we just sort of decided like, okay, what are the places, what are the places that we've always wanted to go? Like, Yosemite, Yosemite was on the list, on the top of the list for Brooke. There were certain things that were a priority for me, certain things that were priority for her. And we just made this massive list of all the places that we wanted to go. And we sort of kind of each said, this one's a must for me, this one's a must for me. I want my kids to see this, I want my kids to see that. And...
That was just kind of how it started. And then eventually slowly over the course of time, we kind of developed this path that we were going to follow. And we had, it took a lot of effort to get to the point, to get to that point, a lot of like give and take on that journey. But once we got it kind of set in stone, we started to show pictures of the places that we were gonna go to our kids.
We were like, okay, we're gonna go here, and here's some pictures. And they would see pictures and they'd go, oh, that's amazing, that's beautiful. And it got them excited. So then they started getting excited about where we were gonna go, which is even deeper, creating an even deeper commitment to this thing. By this point, it's happening. We know it's happening. It's just like, how do we get there now? It's just one of the different obstacles that are in the way. And what were some of the things that we ran into? Yeah, some of the obstacles were like,
figuring out how to pay for it. That was one of them. Because renting an RV was like way too expensive. It was way out of our budget for a month and then paying for gas and then all the, you know, the campsites are more expensive. So we ultimately settled on a roof tent that we purchased that we could retrofit onto the top of our minivan that would fit all of our kids.
Erik + Emily Orton
For sure.
Schmoes
And then we figured out a way for Nathan and I to be able to sleep in the back of our minivan with a hatch tent. And so we were just this like traveling caravan, a little self-sufficient pod traveling through the national parks in Utah, Southern Utah and California. And- How did we come up with the idea for the roof tent? Did you, I feel like you came up with that. I think I saw it online.
just in one of our just Googling options. And we just like, that's what we're doing. That's it, the Roof 10. I don't know why we decided that. I really don't, I still can't figure out why we decided that. Probably because it looks cool. It does. And we thought, and the thought was, oh, we'll use that again for sure. Like that was the thought. We haven't used it since, but I mean, it hasn't been. The weather's just starting to get nice and clear. Right, right. Another obstacle, if you're talking about like logistics, was just we knew it was gonna be the summertime.
We were leaving in late July and camping in that time period in places where it is hot, including Florida. Like one of our first nights was in Florida and then we were staying in Texas and Utah and all these and there were places that were hot. So we threw this just was just research just figuring it out. We found out that there are actual AC units that are designed for tents. They're a little bit more expensive. But
We ended up buying two of them because we didn't want to sleep with the car running all night. So we got one for the downstairs, right? The main lobby area. And then the luxurious penthouse on the top had its own AC. But even now we learned the hard way because we, a week before our trip, or was it two weeks before? Anyway, really close to our trip, we did a trial run just nearby and we only had one AC unit. And so we gave it to our kids and we were thinking like...
We can just tough it out. We'll just crank the AC up really high. We'll be fine. And then we'll turn the car off and then it's gonna last all night. Epic fail, epic fail. We did not, okay, so that night, I ended up going home at three o'clock in the morning. I was like, this is terrible. This is way too hot. And I sweated it out the whole night. It was wonderful.
Erik + Emily Orton
Hahaha!
Erik + Emily Orton
I'm sorry.
Erik + Emily Orton
I did not know that.
Schmoes
Man, so that was really informative. We were really glad that we did that because then we're like, oh my gosh, Amazon, quick. Give us another one. We had to get another one. Yeah, so that saved the day. And then just figuring out how are we gonna power all of this stuff. Nathan ended up doing a bunch of research on solar panels and found one that we could put on top of our roof tent that could charge all of our stuff. So there was a lot of little logistical details like that.
Erik + Emily Orton
I'm sorry.
Schmoes
And then we had a big curve ball of getting in a terrible car accident as we were in the middle of planning this road trip, which was very demoralizing. Like, not only did we lose our minivan that we were planning on using, but just overcoming the trauma of all being in the car together again. You know, not only being in the car, but being in the car for a month, like a month straight. And so that was...
Erik + Emily Orton
Yeah.
Erik + Emily Orton
Mm-hmm.
Schmoes
That was a really big obstacle, but we just plugged along and all the little details ended up working out. We got a new minivan. All of our kids got some good trauma therapy. They still do this little tapping thing when they're scared in the car. If Nathan stops too fast or something, they're all like, ah!
I don't know why that's a coping neck. It's a coping neck. It is. That's from the therapist. It is. Anyway, so yeah, there were definitely some obstacles. I will say it was really cool to be in this experience because like you start down the path and once you've decided that it's happening, like there's really nothing that's gonna get in your way. And like we had some pretty crazy stuff. I mean, there was some logistical stuff that we just, that just took a little bit of.
you know, experimentation to figure out. But things like the car accident and some other, you know, things like that are a little more serious where you're like, oh, this could totally ruin everything. But no, like, if you really want to do something, like, there's nothing that's gonna be, that's big enough to get in your way.
Erik + Emily Orton
Well, I want to mention here too, I don't want to go into the details since you're afraid of, but there were some pretty severe injuries from the car accident that you were like overcoming that as well and saying, no, we're still. And I would find that Brooke would say like, now more than ever, like every time an obstacle would come up, even if it was something really serious like that, to say, life is so precious, you know, now more than ever, we have to spend this time together. We are even more committed.
Schmoes
Yeah, absolutely.
Erik + Emily Orton
to doing this, having this time, cleaning it with our family.
Schmoes
Yeah, definitely. Another thing that happened is my older sister, she's had cancer, breast cancer for several years, but it ended up metastasizing and she got really, really sick while we were planning this trip. And she's just a couple years older than me. She's we're very close. And so watching her deteriorate and get, you know, almost to death was just another like big eye opener. Like, oh my gosh.
Life is so short and fragile and we have to do this. And then yes, our car accident was very serious and one of our daughters, our youngest daughter ended up having a skull fracture and needing brain surgery. So.
That was... Well, it actually just reminded me of something that you told us on the trip, when I was first introduced to this idea, is that all the reasons that we give ourselves to not do something can become the reasons to do that very thing, right? All of those things could have been easy excuses, easy outs for us to just be like, eh, that's okay. Well, we'll try next year, you know what I mean? And then it becomes this thing that just sits in the wing. But...
Erik + Emily Orton
Mm-hmm.
Schmoes
I think they became a driving force really, because it just, like you said, life is just far too precious and our kids are far too important to us to not do this, because that's, you know, why not live your best life just because things go wrong. Things are gonna go wrong no matter what you do. So. Yes, but we were the safest road trippers ever. Like usually, I think if we hadn't have gotten in the car, then we would.
Erik + Emily Orton
Yeah, turning it, turning.
Erik + Emily Orton
Laughter
Schmoes
probably been like, yeah, you can unbuckle. There's nobody, you know, nobody around, no cars on the road, but our kids were like, they would not let us move. And they're like, wait, don't go, I'm not buckled. So bless their hearts. They stayed buckled all 7,500 miles. Yeah, they did great.
Erik + Emily Orton
Good for them. Yeah, they were amazing. We had the opportunity to meet up with you guys in Bablam Valley. Utah, yeah, Southern Utah. And it was just so fun to see all of you like doing it, climbing up to the rooftop tent and- The whole setup. We can visualize it because we can't do it with you guys. The meals, the freezer, yeah, like everything that you guys had, like every little detail you had thought through and prepared.
Schmoes
Thank you.
Erik + Emily Orton
And I think you were still in the middle at that point. And I think some big things had happened already, but then some other big things happened as well. So I'm curious to hear about the journey and if it was everything that you hoped it would be and how it's kind of still rippling through your life now.
Schmoes
It was amazing. We had such an epic trip. It was everything we hoped it would be and so much more. I mean, it was everything we didn't, we hoped it wouldn't be too, because that's how it goes when you have four kids and you're road tripping. That's just like inevitable. But Nate and I agree, we've talked about this a lot that despite
you know, the interpersonal conflict that comes with having four females, you know, five counting me in a vehicle with dad driving. There was definitely some interpersonal conflict. There was, you know, we're in a very enclosed space. Sleeping in closed quarters, you know, camping without some of the luxuries that we're used to. And despite all of that.
the good outweighed the bad and our kids don't remember the bad. Like they only remember the good or if they do remember the bad it's with humor. Which is so funny because it wasn't humorous at the moment. We all wanted to kill each other a few times. But there was one night in particular we were in Joshua Tree.
National Park in Southern California. And we had timed our visit there with a meteor shower that was happening. The Perseides meteor shower. And it's supposedly one of the best places to see this meteor shower, because there's just nothing around. It's all flat. And so we had driven, you know, a long day to make it there in time to see this meteor shower and our kids were just. They were spent.
Erik + Emily Orton
Mm-hmm.
Schmoes
They were spent, they were not interested in a meteor shower. And so, and we didn't have time to get them dinner because we're driving through the desert. We thought surely we're gonna run into food. We didn't. Anyway, long story short, we ended up getting them smoothies at like 10 p.m. Oh, it was right before they closed. So they were closing down and we were the last customer to take them. We closed them down. And we're, we should be putting them in bed, but we're like.
No, we drove all the way here, get in the car, again, we're going to find somewhere to watch this. And we ended up driving up this rinky-dink road that had huge potholes in it. And it was just very sketchy. Our two youngest kids cried the whole way. Our oldest daughter complained the entire way. And we were just driving like, ba-bole, like, what are we doing?
Erik + Emily Orton
I'm sorry.
Schmoes
What are we doing? It's 11 p.m. Well, what are we doing? And then we pulled over. We found what we thought would be a good spot. We popped open our roof tent. We all laid up there. Well, our two kids, our two youngest kids fell asleep in the car. We're like, I don't even care. We're doing this. And so we got up in our roof tent and opened up the screen just in time to watch this meteor shower happen. And it was so magical.
Um, but also so miserable at the same time, just like the complaining, but I'd overheard our oldest daughter telling somebody about this story. And, you know, it was just magical. She left out the miserable part. And I'm hoping that that's true across the board, that their takeaways are, um, just to remember, you know, the magic.
Erik + Emily Orton
Thank you.
Erik + Emily Orton
I would love to ask you to share two other stories that I happen to know of, and you may have others, but I hope this wouldn't be an embarrassment to Stella, but you're talking about sort of the conflict and the personalities and the tension in the car, and then you have this moment in Yosemite that I'd love for you to tell about when you're doing the water slides. And then at some point, I wanna double back to something that you glossed over very nicely, Nathan, about, oh yeah, I used all my PTO.
Schmoes
Yeah, we'll go back to it. Okay. All right. All right. So we were at, I think it was about the end of week three and we were in Yosemite. We'd been there for I think four days and it was our last day there. And we decided that we had heard about some hike that was
Erik + Emily Orton
We're going to go back to that, okay? We're going to go back to that. So talk to us a little bit about the water slides in your seminar.
Schmoes
way up, way, way up in the very, very top of the mountain. And it was probably about, I think, three hours from where we camped. Is that about right? About three hours. And so we I mean, you're literally winding up all the way up these mountains. And it was such a cool hike. And it was it was way, way far, incredibly far away from where the valley was. And it was just this hike that only really backpackers go to. And then the occasional like people who hear about it.
And there was, Brooke had found on some blog, there was this sort of natural rock slide that's up in the mountains that where the river kind of pours out into this big, I call it a bowl. It looks like a big bowl and that's surrounded by trees and mountains. So it was this very picturesque place. So we hike up there. It's a lot of, you know, the first mile of it was probably trees and forests and stuff. And then the last mile was just bouldering. I mean, you're just climbing over rocks and all this kind of stuff.
And then once you get to where the river dumps out into this rock formation, it's basically a 45 degree decline all the way down. So you're just leaning back as you're going down. But there's this really cool water slide that just kind of exists there. And it was a bit of a chore to get there, but it was amazing. And we had a really cool experience there. We were sliding down the rocks.
natural kind of pool that had formed in the rock where me and some of the girls were jumping in it. It was really cold, but then you get out and the rock is, you know, nice and hot because the sun's beating on it. It was amazing. But while this is happening, Stella is starting to go down the slide. And there's some older, there's some like a, like an older group of maybe college age kids there and they're all going down the slide on tubes. And Stella sees them going down and she starts to,
decide that she's gonna kinda go up higher and higher on the mountain, or on the slide. And she gets up there going pretty far and she's going really fast. Well at the bottom of the slide, right before you dump off into the water, if you're not careful there's this section that kind of veers off to the left where there's a little rock ledge that you don't want to hit. And the college age kids were hitting it because they were on inner tubes. Well we didn't have inner tubes, we were just going on our bellies and bums.
Schmoes
Stella gets going really fast and she's sliding down this rock face and veers to the left and she sticks her foot out so that she doesn't hit. She's trying to avoid a catastrophe but her foot hits that rock ledge and just breaks her foot in three places. We don't know that it's broken but she can't walk and I don't know how much of the story you want me to tell but there's some funny moments because
Erik + Emily Orton
Oh
Schmoes
I didn't actually see it happen. I was actually up swimming with two of my other daughters. And so I go over there, Brooke tells me what's going on, and she's like, I don't know if it's broken, but she's definitely hurt herself. And so I go down there and I'm like, hey, it's gonna be okay, we're gonna hike off this mountain, you can do this, and I'm like trying to tell her, like encourage her, and she kind of snaps at me, and she's like, dad, you're just trying to sound like a motivational speaker, get away. And I'm like, okay.
Erik + Emily Orton
I love it, love it.
Schmoes
So I was like, all right, well, I'll go over here. Like, just let me know when you need me, you know? And I walk away and then I should prep.
Erik + Emily Orton
And she'd been fairly sassy throughout a lot of the trip. Is that safe to say? That'll be enough, yeah. She was trying on a style. I don't wanna give Stella a hard time, but I remember.
Schmoes
You could say that. She's 13.
Schmoes
She's trying that on. But I should clarify, and I should preface the story a little bit, because before we went on this trip, Stella and I's relationship has been a little rocky, mostly because of her being a teenager, not because of that, but that's a factor. And this year, one of my goals with her was, I want to be her hero, right? That was one of my goals, is I want to be seen in her eyes as her hero. And...
So when all this is happening, I'm like, I'm not thinking that this is my opportunity, but somewhere deep inside it's resonating that this is an opportunity I have to show her how much she means to me. And so she gets to this point where she's like, just leave me here. I don't, you know, she's dramatic. She's just like, leave me here. Just don't come. There's no helicopter that can come up here. Just leave me. And I go over there to her and I said, Stella.
Listen to me. I said, it would be my greatest honor and privilege to put you on my back and climb you out of this mountain. And she just like looks at me, she's like, dad, you can't. And I said, honey, why do you think I work out all the time? I was like, I work out so that I can take you off the mountain. That's why I work out. I was like, I don't work out for any other reason. I said, please, I would love to do this for you. And she's just like looking at me in this attitude of disbelief.
And so I end up putting her on my back, hiking her out, you know, taking breaks all along the way because it's exhausting to carry a 120 pound person on your back when you're climbing up this slippery 45 degree incline for, you know, a quarter, I think it was a half a mile maybe all the way. Oh my gosh, the first half a mile. As we were going down, I was thinking, how are we gonna get out of here? And that was before she broke her foot, so.
trying to climb, it was like slippery granite straight up, just bare rock. And it was really intense. It was a feat of superhuman strength. Well, we got her out, and honestly, it didn't take near as long as I thought, but it was very exhausting. And I will tell you, it was probably the most physically demanding thing I've ever had to do. But what's cool about it is that Stella, her attitude went from
Erik + Emily Orton
Mmm.
Schmoes
I hate you guys, this is so terrible and this is just complaining to you can do this dad, you're doing such a good job. Dad, do you need some water? Can we take a break? You're doing so awesome. Like she was just being the most encouraging and kind, sweet person. And of course I'm carrying her so what else is she going to say to me? But it was a really, really cool moment because her and I, I think she's going to, I'm hoping that she's going to remember this moment forever.
but you never know what they will retain. But I'll remember it for sure. And it was very impactful for me. And she has brought it up a couple of times since it happened. And it was funny because on her, so at her school, they have like a journey tracker. It's like for their school, they track all of their work and stuff. She changed her profile picture to a picture of me carrying her on my back. It wasn't from the trip. It was actually from our family pictures and she was on my back. And I said, Stella, does that remind you of anything?
And she's like, no. And I was like, I looked at her, I was like, are you sure? And she's like, yes, dad, I remember you, Carrie. And so then she started telling me about how great I was and all this kind of stuff. So I was like, okay. I think I earned my place in the hero books for her this year, so.
Erik + Emily Orton
I love that. That's so great. Good for you and for her.
Schmoes
Oh, it was great. Very good for our relationship for sure.
Erik + Emily Orton
And her foot is fine now. And she healed. Okay. All right, so now we're gonna just double back and maybe we'll conclude with this because I feel like most people when they have these kinds of dreams, high on the reasons these are impossible list is because how are we gonna pay for it? How am I gonna get away from work, all this? And when we first started working together, you're like, well, if we're gonna do this, I'm gonna have to quit my job.
Schmoes
Finally healed. Yes. Took a while. Yeah.
Erik + Emily Orton
Like I'll go and I'll ask them, but I know that they're going to say no. And so it's going to mean quitting my job. And that's not how it played out obviously. But do you remember that process and what it was like before? When I'm on the, on the front side of that, before everything lined up so nicely.
Schmoes
Yeah, so we didn't quite know, I didn't know, like I knew I had three weeks paid vacation at the time, like when we first started talking about this, I knew that I had three weeks paid vacation in my pocket. But also I knew that at our company, it was very, very like, it wasn't written in stone.
but it was expected that people would never take all of their PTO at once. Like nobody in the company had ever done that. So when I went, that was just, I didn't really know how to approach it, to be perfectly honest. I didn't know, like, should I just tell my manager this is what I wanna do? How should I approach this situation? But then we come back from this trip and we start talking about what we wanna do. And then I, yeah, after the sailing trip, yes, not the, yeah, after the sailing trip. And so I came back and...
Erik + Emily Orton
Back from the sailing trip you mean.
Schmoes
Funny enough, I had just hit my eight year mark at GPR at the company I worked for, and they just changed the policy to where I didn't have three weeks, I had four weeks paid vacation after I finished my eighth year. And so I had just, and when I got back from that, from the BVI trip, literally that November, I hit my eighth year. I was in my eighth year, and then I had four weeks paid vacation. And I was like, all right.
Let's see if I can use all of this. And nobody in the company had ever done that, had ever used all of their PTO in one sitting. And honestly, never four weeks, like that was unheard of. And so I just decided that I was gonna talk to my manager about it and say, you know what? I'm just gonna ask him and see what he says. Worst he can do is say no, so I'm just gonna ask him. So I had a conversation with him and I just said, hey, listen, and I explained to him what we wanted to do and why we wanted to do it.
And he asked me probably like six or seven pointed questions. And then he says, Nathan, this is a really beautiful thing that you wanna do. He's like, I am 100% supportive of this. I don't know how we can do this because nobody's, he's very by the book. So he's like, gave me all of this flack about it not being the expectation. And I told him, I said, I don't really care what the expectation is. I said, I would want other people in the company to do this kind of thing too.
I said, I actually had already checked with one of the area managers who was going to cover me while I was out of town. And I told him what I wanted to do. And he said, oh man, I want you to go do that because then if you go do it, then I can go do it. And I was like, of course, I want you to go do it. I want you to do these things. And so I told him all that stuff and he was like, okay, okay. I basically laid out a scenario that he just couldn't say boo to. I had thought of everything.
you know, planned out, like who would be covering for me. You know, I just had everything figured out. And so he had no, he was just 100% supportive. But I will say it took probably three more conversations with him, no, two more conversations with him, one more with our vice president, and then two conversations with HR. So it was a lot of conversations about like, you know, what the expectations were, and essentially it boiled down to, it was up to my regional director. And so I said, hey, you were supportive. So you have to say yes now.
Schmoes
And he basically never said yes, but his last words were to me were, Oh, I guess I can't tell you no. I was like, you are correct. You can't say no to me because I'm doing this. And it just was a lot of persistence and it wasn't contentious at all. It was really, really positive. And he thought it was just the coolest thing. And I think I just got him on board with it just from just showing him my excitement. He eventually was just like, yeah, you got to go, man. This is going to be so cool for you and your family. So.
Erik + Emily Orton
What?
Erik + Emily Orton
Hahaha!
Schmoes
It worked out really well. I didn't tell him that at the time. I just told him.
Erik + Emily Orton
And this is only one of five, right?
Erik + Emily Orton
Well, you were probably like, let's do this one round and see what we learned. Pace it out.
Schmoes
I have actually given him a little bit of a hint. I said, we're probably gonna do this again in the fall again. And I said, we might not do a full four weeks, but it'll be close. And he was like, oh, okay, okay. Oh yeah.
Erik + Emily Orton
It's always easier the second time around. That's so awesome. I remember feeling like such a triumph when it went from, there's just no way I can get this time off to, I did it. Yeah, it was amazing.
Schmoes
Yeah, and it took a lot of conversations. I mean, it was so crazy that it took that. I mean, the first conversation was promising, but there was it was no waste, like 100 percent decided. So it just took a lot of continual, like hopefulness. You know, you got to stay. Keep keep positive. But.
Erik + Emily Orton
Yeah.
I love that. I think a lot of people will find that encouraging. I know for us, sometimes these things don't even come up in your mind. Like I know when Eric was working at a job and he saw that somebody else had gotten, I can't remember how many, multiple weeks off in a row, he was able to take a leave of absence, still get his job back and keep his medical care in place, but not get paid for that timeframe.
I would totally be willing to do something like that. So there's a few different ways that you can handle it. And we did end up actually doing it. I think we took that eight week leave of absence and we went and made a movie. You know, that was one of our big projects that was important to us at the time. So anyway, so cool. What an incredible story. Yeah, thanks for indulging me and going back and telling those stories, Nathan. And Brooke, I wanna give you the final word. I just...
Schmoes
Yeah.
Erik + Emily Orton
as you look back and as you look forward. I'm curious, what are some of your takeaways from the past and what are your hopes for the future for you and your family?
Schmoes
Yeah, so we're definitely continuing the five epic summers. There's only four left. It's so sad. It's so sad how fast time flies. But honestly, that doesn't even feel big anymore. It feels like...
we've done it once, of course we can do it again. Like we already know the steps, we know how to do it. And so we've kind of moved our, set our sights on other things that feel big and scary that are also important to us while this, you know, epic summer is going in the background kind of on repeat. So it's really neat. I feel like...
Man, my hopes for my family is to live intentionally? Truly, I feel like before we reconnected with you and went to the BVI and kind of cracked this code of chasing goals and dreams, it's really easy to just get caught up in the rat race of life without trying.
And I love the sail, I love the boat lingo and analogy that you guys use of drifting versus navigating. That really resonated with me because it's so easy to drift. Even if you feel like you're not drifting, if you're not actively working towards something else, you are drifting, truly. We were, we've like got sucked into that so easily. But now that we're aware of it, it's so much easier now to live intentionally and to dream big and I think it's opened our minds wide up of what's possible.
Schmoes
Yeah, we just talk differently now.
We entertain big crazy ideas, whereas I don't think we would have before. We let our kids entertain big crazy ideas.
Yeah, it's almost like giving, we've given ourselves permission to be great and to be successful.
Erik + Emily Orton
Wow. We've given ourselves permission to be great. I love that so much. Thank you for that. Anyway, it's been a real pleasure revisiting this with you and kind of hearing some more in-depth. And so thanks for sharing your story with us and our listeners. And thanks for being an inspiration to us, really. It's inspiring to watch you guys make these changes and take these adventures.
and lead your family the way that you are. Emily, any last words? Yeah. We always end this podcast by saying, what could go right? What could go right. Thanks for listening.
Schmoes
Thank you.
