ERIK:
I have learned that so much of our happiness in life depends upon our expectations. If we're expecting something to happen and it doesn't, we are disappointed. If we are not expecting something to happen and it does, we are surprised, pleasantly surprised. So at a time of year and perhaps at a time of life or a season that is just fraught with expectations, on today's podcast, I want to tell you three stories about not getting what you want. Welcome to the What Could Go Right podcast.
EMILY
I'm Emily Orton.
ERIK
I am Erik Orton.
EMILY:
And here we talk about personal growth, family connections, and parenting adult kids. So let's dive in. I wanna just let you hear these stories from Erik about not getting what you want. And I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.
ERIK:
We don't usually read from the Bible, but today I'm going to. This is from Matthew chapter 7. So whatever you think about the Bible, here you go. Ask and it shall be given to you. Seek and you shall find. Knock and it shall be opened unto you. For everyone that asketh receiveth, and he that seeketh findeth, and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. Or what man is there of you?
whom if his son ask bread will give him a stone, or if he ask a fish will give him a serpent. If ye then being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your father which is in heaven, give good things to them that ask him? As I said at the beginning, I'm gonna tell you three stories about not getting what you want.
So as a boy, I studied violin, and it was something that I asked my parents to let me do. I wanted to learn how to play that instrument. And after I'd played for a few years and was somewhat proficient, I ended up playing something in church for the Christmas program. And I honestly cannot remember what it was, but I'm sure it was not that impressive. Even so, a wonderful brother at church came up afterward and congratulated my parents on my
lovely playing. And my parents were very appreciative. He then proceeded to ask my parents if I would come to his home and play for his mother who was unable to attend church because of her health. And he even asked if I could do it on Christmas Day. So being a fairly petulant boy, I was not particularly thrilled with this idea because it meant that on a day when I
I typically like to just lull around the house, organizing my gifts into a neat pile, and looking at them over and over again. I would have to trudge out of the house, and my parents would drive me over to their house, wherever that was, and I would have to play my little violin music. So the bottom line is, I had a bad attitude. I was not getting what I wanted. So the day came and I went, but when I arrived, it was not
that I had expected. I was their guest of honor, and they lived in a humble apartment that was clean and well-kept, but did not have many nice things in it. And I played the music that I had prepared, and they were more than appreciative. They gushed. And this man's mother told me how the violin was her favorite instrument and how lovely it was to hear it played so beautifully.
Ah man. Needless to say, I was ashamed, and it was not until this moment that I realized that inviting me to play was this man's Christmas gift to his mother. It was what he could afford. I could have stayed home that night and played with what I got that year, and I honestly, again, have no recollection of what that was. But all these years later,
I have a wonderful memory that taught me of the love of a son for his mother and his desire to be generous to her in whatever way he could. And I learned that my gifts and talents were not mine to hoard, but mine to share. I had not gotten what I wanted. I got something much, much better.
If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them than ask him?
Alright, second story.
My father had become a scoutmaster, and he'd taken his troop on a hike up the perilous Mount Washington in New Hampshire. And while climbing through a particularly tricky section of boulders, my father slipped and fell, and he was okay, but the Nikon camera that was strapped around his neck was not. It had hit a boulder as he fell, and the lens was bent. So when my dad came home from this trip, I could tell that he was heartbroken.
and he didn't want to let it show. My dad, he actually studied photographic science in college and he worked in reconnaissance for the Air Force. And so taking pictures was a big part of his life and it meant a lot to him. And whenever we were on a trip, his motto was, take lots of pictures, film is cheap. Obviously, long back before digital cameras. And after, because he actually, he did his own developing, so there wasn't even the cost of having to develop it. So.
Losing his camera was a sad loss for him And I was pretty young at the time I was maybe 12 or 13 and I had been mowing lawns that summer So I had some money and my older sister she babysat quite a bit So she had some money too and we decided to pool our funds together and buy my dad a replacement camera and as best as I can recall it was $500
And I don't think I fully appreciated how much money that was back then and for kids of our age. All I knew was that we wanted our dad to have a camera. And my mom asked us if we were sure before we spent the money. And we went to the store and we pointed at it through the glass case and we made the purchase and it felt really good. And when my father opened it Christmas morning
He was silent.
We didn't know if we'd gotten something he liked or not.
When he looked up, he had tears in his eyes.
He had not gotten what he expected.
If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?
Third story. There was a young woman and she was engaged to be married and she was a wonderful person and she was upstanding in every way and her fiance was a good guy too. He worked in construction and he was building them a home and it was going to be particularly nice because this was his expertise and everything was going according to plan. But before they were married, she became pregnant.
And their world was shattered. She did not know how she was going to break the news to him or her family because she knew it was going to break their hearts. She lived in the Middle East and so in her culture it could cost her life and such an action as this during the time of engagement was very, very serious. Engagement was basically the same as marriage. It was a time of preparation.
But for all intents and purposes, this guy and this girl, they were already married. So when she broke the news to him, he was devastated. Neither of them were getting what they had expected.
When Mary was espoused to Joseph before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost. Then Joseph, her husband, being a just man and not willing to make her a public example, was minded to put her away privily. He did not want to see her stoned, as the law dictated, but rather was willing to divorce her as discreetly as possible and then just send her away. But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the
Thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee, marry thy wife. For that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost. And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name Jesus, for he shall save his people from their sins.
Joseph did not get what he expected. Mary certainly did not either. As we give and receive this Christmas season, I hope that we can remember the promise made by Jesus Christ as he taught the Sermon on the Mount. Ask and it shall be given you. Seek and you shall find. Knock and it shall be opened unto you. For everyone that asketh, receiveth.
And he that seeketh findeth, and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. Or what man is there of you, whom, if his son ask bread, will give him a stone, or if he ask a fish will give him a serpent? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him.
What could go right?
