Hey, there! Welcome to the What Could Go Right? podcast. My name is Erik Orton and,
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on this podcast, Emily and I talk about personal growth, family connection, and raising adult kids.
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Today we are delighted to introduce you to our dear friends, Dan and Natalie Reeves.
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They are currently traveling Europe with their five kids and have been doing that
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for several months. We first met Dan and Natalie at a retreat here in Utah. And
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it's been a delight to see where their lives have gone since then. And in this
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conversation they share with us some of the mindset shifts and some of the couples
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collaboration that they've done that have made this trip possible for them and their family.
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As we get going with this podcast, and as we do some of these interviews, I want to thank
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you for your patience we are still figuring out how to do some of the technology as we interview
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people while we're traveling and while they are traveling. So thanks for listening despite some
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of the imperfections. And now sit back and enjoy this conversation with the amazing Dan and Natalie
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Reeves. First of al,l tell us where you are right this moment and then catch us up on the past few
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months of what you and your family have been up to. Well, Erik and Emily, thanks for having us on.
1:05 Overview - Countries visited
Good to see you guys. So I'm Dan. I'm Natalie. We embarked on this adventure thanks to you,
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right? We, yeah, we were sitting with you about a year and a half ago dreaming about travel. And
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I think, at the time, our dream was was to go on an RV trip. But here we are in Lake Como,
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Italy. And kind of the background on that is is I had a bit of a break of work, a break in work. And
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we thought, 'Well, let's let's just take some time and travel.' So we thought about
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doing the RV thing but then we thought, 'Hey, let's, let's just do do Europe.' So
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we toured the southeast for of the U.S for for about a month or so Florida, Georgia,
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the Carolinas. And then we we took a ship, a transatlantic cruise out of Miami to Barcelona.
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And we have been probably hit a dozen countries so far. We've, we've traveled with our five children
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who are fairly young –12 and under. And we started in Spain. Spent a few weeks in Spain, Portugal,
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southern France, Italy. Then we got a little adventurous and went down through Slovenia,
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Croatia, Montenegro, Albania, Kosovo, North Macedonia. We got over to my mission where I
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served in Romania. We spent a little bit of, a little bit of time there. And then headed back
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here to Italy and spent some time in Florence and Rome. And just took a Greek Isles cruise. And now
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we're we're in Lake Como, Italy. So we're just having having the time of our life. So quite the
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adventure. Man. That is quite quite the itinerary. Yeah. I love it. Yeah. That just sounds awesome.
2:58 Transition to Travel
So we have you guys to thank because [Music] we've basically lived the same life,
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in the same house for 13 years. We have we've traveled a lot during those 13 years but
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every day was pretty much the same, you know. And when we went to your weekend retreat that was kind
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of a turning point for us because we really hadn't taken time to sit down and evaluate,
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'Okay if we were to live big and live our dreams what would we do?' And you guys helped us to see,
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you know, anything's possible. Just just plan it and see how it comes to pass. And it's interesting
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that in less than, it was pretty much less than a year less than a year from the time we
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went to your retreat, the wheel, the wheel started turning. And like
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things started to fall into place that allowed us to take this epic trip. So,
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yeah. Thanks a lot. That is really kind of you to say. Thank you. Yeah. That's incredible. I
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remember you coming out of that, Natalie, and saying like, 'You know what I learned is that my
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life is pretty good and I'm and basically living my dream right now.' Next thing, here I was like,
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'Oh, they're going on there live in an RV for a month. And, now, they're heading to Europe.'
4:29 Spouses Meeting in the Middle on Their Dreams
There were some more conversations that obviously happened
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Yeah, go ahead. Oh I'm definitely the dreamer between the two of us. And I think for that
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weekend I had to come to this place of like, 'If I never have these big dreams,
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I'm content with all the dreams I'm living right now.' And he came to a place where he's like,
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'Hey, this is possible.' So it was kind of coming to a middle ground for us. Yeah
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we met each other in the middle that weekend. Yeah. Wow. Amazing. What a cool convergence of
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how would you say it just just sort of I don't know that seems to be like the yin and yang of
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marriage where I think we we tend to marry people that compliment us and yet in so many ways are
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opposite. At least. I don't know. Emily I might, I don't know if you agree with that or not but
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but anyway I just think it's in so many ways we're different but we bring out the best in each other.
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And sometimes we push each other's buttons but that's that's really cool, cool to hear that you
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guys have gone from you kind of come from opposite places to meet in the middle. And doing something
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that it seems like both of you guys are having a good time. Is that safe to say? Absolutely! Yeah,
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trip of a trip of a lifetime in so many ways. Not just things you're saying but coming together as
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a family. Yeah. It's phenomenal. Yeah, we're about.. We didn't know how long we'd be here
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but the way we're figuring things out we're about halfway there. We'll be coming back likely this
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fall. We'd love to hang out with you guys when you get back. Absolutely. Let's go sailing.
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Deal. Deal. Okay, so a question I have for you guys is
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I know that when, speaking of sailing, when we went to go live on a boat with
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our kids it ended up having some impacts on us as individuals. As you know as Erik and Emily–
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us as a couple. And then as a family. And I'm curious, you know, halfway through your trip,
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what have been some of the (and this is probably like six questions stacked into one so feel free
6:49 Challenges
to unpack this any way you want). But I'm just curious, what have been some of the
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the challenges and the benefits to each of you? And that like you your marriage? And your kids?
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And like I say you can each tackle that and you can start with yourselves as individuals or a
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family wherever you want to go. But I just kind of like love to delve into that area a little bit.
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So for me, Dan describes my parenting as the opposite of free-range parenting.
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Yesterday he said, 'Free-range parenting doesn't suit you.' I want order and consistency and
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things to flow. And and that's what I've been able to kind of create in my home. And so then
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having this like kind of upheaval of all the systems I've had in place for a long time has
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kind of rocked me and my sense of needing some semblance of order. But that has been
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definitely a challenge my personal challenge. What would you say your challenge has been? I'd say
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being able to enjoy the moment yet also realize we are tour managers at the same time,
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right? Planning where we're going to be tomorrow. What, you know, the the continuous planning that
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we need to do. Yet, still soaking in the moment. I think we're getting better at that. But it seemed
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like the first couple of months we were just in constant planning mode because we didn't
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do a lot of it before. It was kind of a whirlwind getting over here. But we hadn't booked one night
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stay. We flew to Florida. And when we landed in Florida we didn't even know where we were
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staying. And it happened to be Valentine's Day so of course everything was booked out or super
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overpriced. And we ended it in this like hotel which was like, 'Welcome kids! Welcome to to
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our family trip!' And we had six months worth of stuff crammed into this little hotel room.
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We're like. 'Oh, well.' Let me explain part of the part of the madness was we we ended up selling our
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house before leaving the states. And so we were in this whirlwind of getting the home ready to sell,
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selling it, moving out, packing up. We literally were moving our last boxes to the storage unit
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before we headed to the airport. So we were, we were just a little little frenzied for for
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a few months before coming on this. And so but, but yeah. It it's it's been fantastic!
9:27 Working During Family Travel
I think the other struggle is, you know, even though I'm in between physical responsibilities
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at work and I think, for both of us, you know. She runs a couple businesses, too,
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managing work while on the road. But it kind of works out well because most of what we need to
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do is with people in the states. And that's at night so we get to enjoy the time with
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with our kids and as a family during the day. And then sometimes we're working past midnight at
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night just keeping up on things and making calls and –while the kids are in la la land sleeping–
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but we we're figuring it out. And it's it's been so fun. It's been so fun. Something I'll say for
10:10 “Mom, I have to apologize” for being bored and ungrateful!
our kids that's been a transition is a few months before this trip, one of our daughters stood up
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in church and she was sharing everything she was grateful for and she's like I'm grateful for our
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nice cars and our big house. And Dan and I kind of looked at each other like, 'Oh, no.' Like, 'Did
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we create this?' And so we were we've both been feeling this need to expose our kids to a simpler
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life that they haven't known because they've only lived in one house in the same neighborhood and
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pretty much have had a pretty blessed life. And we we both are like this is not reality for a
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lot of people. And they need to be exposed to this. And so in the process of all of this we,
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our kids, have had to give up their pets, their rooms, their toys, their friends. And it's a,
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it's a sacrifice that has been asked of them. And basically were like, 'Trust us. This is going to
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be an amazing experience.' And so it's been really neat to see them surrender and um and
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be a bit submissive at the same time of having so many unknowns. But last night our older girls
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came to us and they said, 'Mom,' Well, they came to me and they said, 'Mom, we have to apologize.'
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And I said, 'Why?' And they said before this trip, we had our own bedrooms. We had hoverboards. I had
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a crash pillow.' One of my daughters said, 'I had a crash pillow. And we just...and we would
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actually complain. We would be bored. Why were we ever bored? Why did we ever complain?' And they
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said, 'We're so sorry. We were spoiled.' And then after that they said, 'When we go back,
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all we need is a bed and seven outfits and a shelf above our bed. And we'll line up our seven
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outfits above on the shelf.' Anyway. So, for me, I was like, 'Okay, mission accomplished.' Like,
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'They have seen. They've gone from one lifestyle to living in two-bedroom townhomes. And it's been
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it's been really healthy and actually a great learning experience for them. So homeschool and
12:31 The Comfort Crisis
all my order kind of dissipated but life lessons have happened. I love that. There's a book called,
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'The Comfort Crisis.' And it's just talking about how sometimes we can get too comfortable,
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right? And when we were talking to some moms about the kind of what we offer when we do coaching
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and things like that there's like, 'We don't we don't need more connection with our kids in the
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sense of like being together because what we're trying to do is get our kids to go outside or go
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somewhere else like do some things.' As you get out together you're having these opportunities to
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connect with the world and themselves in a new way. Recalibrating their view of what's necessary,
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And, it sounds like, as they're doing that their gratitude is increasing.
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That's awesome. That's, that's some powerful stuff you guys have shared,
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there, about, first of all, what you said, Dan and Natalie, about just, sort of,
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like you have people and the logistics of moving around as a family home (we've done
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some similar things we know that that can become a part-time job) and that it's not always as
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It sounds so like glamorous when someone else hears about it. But when you're actually
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doing it, you're like, 'It is awesome.' They're always.. People would ask us,
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'How was your experience?' And I would say, 'It was intense in all the ways.
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Like intensely challenging. Intensely beautiful. You know, Everything about it was intense.'
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And yet you know you've got this experience that you're sharing with your your daughters
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where they they're coming to see their lives in a new way. And just as, Emily, you said,
14:34 This Can Never Be Undone
these are really powerful takeaways. These are things that they'll never forget. And
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one of the things that we would say to each other we have said along the way in our lives is,
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"This can never be undone." This trip that you're taking now –no matter what happens in your future
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financially or health-wise or you know career or education– this can never be undone. It's already
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happened. It's in the books. It's locked in. And what a beautiful powerful thing.
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I'm just curious for you, as a mom and a dad, what have been..? You shared some challenges,
15:10 Benefits
which I appreciate. What would you say are some benefits that have come to each of
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you individually? And then as a couple? And I realize you're only part way through the trip,
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so there's still a lot to unfold. But if you were to say, up to this point, you know, if there have
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been (and I hope that there have), what have been some of those benefits for you guys?
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You know, it's interesting. We were just talking two weeks ago. I want to say how
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I think for some (this isn't to say anything about anybody else but for for some) people spending six
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weeks together 24/7 as a couple could end in divorce. For us it's been the complete
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opposite. We we are so so in sync because we're working together, having fun together.
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That even when we we were apart for three days for for our son's birthday. I took him. I'm a
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huge Formula One fan. We were six hours from Monaco. And the Monaco Grand Prix just happened
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to be going. So I took Bennett to the Monaco Grand Grand Prix. And we were gone for for a few days.
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Just those few days apart, I came back and and it brought back memories of work travel or even
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just going to work every day and then coming back in sync together at the end of the day.
16:32 Marriage More in Sync
So, for me, it's been a lesson in –I I mean I I love this woman so much. And we are so much more
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in sync the more time we spend together. I I don't know if that's much different for other couples.
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But we we've just found out about each other. And I found out about me that I just I love being with
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her. I love being with the kids. I love this lost time that I'm getting to make up being together
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with them. Our poor son and four daughters, you know, he's he's kind of alone in the world
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sometimes with, we joke, five mothers. And so just being able to be his buddy and be you know be
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just great friends with him, I think it's been a definite mission accomplished in in this trip. So
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I think just time together with this sweet woman and with with our kids has been
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the thing that I've learned the most that I just how much I love it so. [Music]
17:31 Simplicity
I know. Sweet. Thank you. Okay. So I would say:
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Simplicity. The Simplicity of being together.
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There is nothing else really that's that important take away. One of the things that happened is we
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had all our luggage packed in our van, or most of our luggage, (luckily, we had two nights worth of
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belongings in our Airbnb) but the rest of our luggage was packed in our van. And our van got
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robbed. And they took everything. And so we had two nights worth of clothes. Everything
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else has been taken. And.. learning books, everything. All of our homeschool supplies,
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toiletries. So anyways and things got simple really fast. Yeah. That really was like,
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'Okay, it's gone, but we have each other.' In the simplicity of recognizing like
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though there can be turmoil but the unity amongst us is really what matters. And everything else is
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just details. It's just logistics and details and that can be worked out. And I think the..
18:56 Thank You Robbers!
I am I'm not necessarily a minimal person but the lesson in all of our belongings being taken away,
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which I probably wouldn't have only packed two nights worth of stuff. But feeling the relief
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of not needing two hours to pack up to go to the next destination. Or not having to keep everything
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organized because we have a lot of belongings. So, in a way, I have those robbers to thank.
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But for, as far as. Except they stole your life journal and my mission journals and
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irreplaceable stuff. Other than that. Yeah. It's just stuff. We're (yeah) And it was a good
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lesson for the kids. Some important things were also taken. Yeah. But and I think the lesson of
19:48 Emotional Stability
um experiencing highs and lows –complete highs and complete lows– all in one day
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almost every day of this trip and being able to navigate those highs and lows in a
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steady mentality and not be rocked by them. You know, like, we'll we'll drive 11 hours with the
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the noise of the kids, you know. And like our endurance is amazing with these kids now.
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But, yes. So it's quite a few lessons as parents here. Yeah. Simplicity in
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riding the highs and lows with a steady, with a steady mindset. Yeah, it's been a blessing.
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And it sounds like the kids are becoming more grateful. Do they have any other takeaways
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or benefits they're getting? Or things they're enjoying about the travel together?
20:48 First Cathedra - Kids in Tears
The first cathedral we went to was –remind me.
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Oh in Barcelona. Sagrada Familia. Yeah. Sagrada Familia. And
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when our kids walked in there
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they were just.. It was like they were struck by lightning. It was like they were just awestruck.
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They couldn't believe it -what they were seeing. And one of my daughters said she was in tears. And
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she's like, 'They did all of this for Jesus.' And and those types of moments where they see
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the larger world around them, that there's a large a long history in each of these places and
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it just brought into their perspective. The perspective that they've gained of the beginning
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of Christ's Church has been really neat. To watch them understand and comprehend the apostles. And
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to see the statues of the Apostles. And then to understand, you know, the reformation and
21:57 Deeper Immersion in Nature
all those aspects of history has been a great experience for them. I think enjoying nature.
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We spend a lot of time in nature and just soaking it in a.. on a level where, you know, we don't
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have to make it to soccer practice. We don't need to go home and practice piano. There isn't those
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pressures. So you're able to soak in your time in nature more has been awesome for our kids. We just
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got back from the lake. And just the lake was so still. There's mountains all around the lake. And
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nobody around and you just you know to just bathe in nature like that is such a rare opportunity.
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Speaking of enjoying nature, it reminds me, it reminds me of your experience in the Caribbean.
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How you talked about your kids couldn't wait to don their masks and snorkels and jump in
22:55 Kids Snorkeling and Sunburns
and check out the the sea life. Our kids have adopted the same love. When we're down in the
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on the Mediterranean but mostly in the Greek Isles they got to experience that the the sea
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life. And so they're always just jumping in the water, just like the Orton kids, with their masks
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and snorkeling around. And sunburned. Yeah, right. Sunburns upon sunburns. There is that, right? It's
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a great way to live. Yeah. That's so awesome. I'm so happy for all of you. Everyone's gonna... The
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the cool thing that we got out from that trip in the way that we think, in the way that we handle
23:35 Lasting Benefits and Broader Perspective
frustrations that arise. And I know it can feel kind of weird that, in our case, we're saying,
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'We want to disrupt ourselves. What we discovered is that, even after we got home, even years after
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that they kept seeing benefits that were with themselves. And, you know,
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create an environment for growth and connection. And then, when it happens, as it will in life,
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right, that disruption comes. We were.. It was like we were better prepared for it. And that's
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been the same for the kids. And sounds like you guys are enjoying some of those benefits already.
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No, that's good. So it gave him the the trials that you guys went together [there's a lot of
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that] it just gave them a broader perspective when they were back but otherwise big problems
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just seem small. Is that is that kind of how how it goes? And just not getting, like you said,
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Natalie, like going through the highs and lows with that steadiness. So like, 'Oh, I didn't get
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into the college program of my choice.. three times. Well, now what am I gonna do?' You know,
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like just having the resilience to keep coming back when things don't go the way you expect.
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And and flexibility. One of the things we've talked about a lot is like,
25:00 Practice in Resilience
'This didn't go our way. Oh, well. Let's move on. This didn't go our way. Oh,
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well. Let's move on.' And and a lot of times... We're having a hard times with our youngest
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teaching her that. But our kids having given up so much already and then it's almost like,
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'Okay.' Like it's that resilience. It's a lot it's practice in resilience, like constant practice.
25:27 Wrap up
We lost connection with them, at this point. Like I said, we're still figuring out how to do these
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International interviews while on the go across so many time zones. But suffice it to say that
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it was a delight to speak with Dan and Natalie. And we do hope to go sailing with them someday.
25:41
In the meantime, I was honored by what they said at the beginning about how their time with
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us had an impact on how their travels came to be. Honestly, what Natalie described about living big,
25:53
and picking that thing, and then watching it come into being, that is what we want for you.
26:00 Talk to Us, We Can Help You Discover Your Dreams!
So here's my plug about why I'd love to jump on a discovery call with you.
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